Monday, May 21, 2007
Well, here we are again; I guess it must be fate.
Karen and I were late to the going away party on Friday night, so the table was already filled by the time we got there. Our friend-that-is-leaving, Natalie, walked us down the table introducing us to everyone. I wasn't really paying attention until one of the guys with his back to us turned around to greet us.
As he leaned back, our eyes met, and our faces registered utter shock and disbelief.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I heard myself say. "What the hell are you doing here?"
He stood up and hugged me. I stumbled over my words as I asked him how long he had been living in New York, and what had brought him here. I have rarely felt more proud of myself than I did when I told him I had been here for 4 years.
My mind was going 1,000 miles an hour. I could barely put myself together enough to turn to Karen and say, "Karen, this is Jake. Jake Brown. We went to high school together." (A high school about 2,000 miles away in a pretty damn small state....)
What I didn't say, was that for a year of my life I was disastrously, obsessively in love with this man. And that in the space of 30 seconds, I reverted back to that girl, who was a National Honor society, Math club officer and extremely religious geek staring dreamily at the football star and the student body officer who used to rule my every single fantasy.
I had never, in my life, been so glad to have taken extra care with my makeup that night.
As we sat down, and my heart rate slowed, the flashbacks started coming. The middle of the night drives past his house (once without a shirt on because a friend had dared me), the walks past him in the hallway that would make me so nervous, the times when I would walk past his car in the parking lot and would lovingly run my hands along the sides of that big, ugly station wagon imagining all the dirty deeds that I could be convinced to do in the back, and the time he quizzed me on what a spark plug was and I TOTALLY failed.
Interestingly enough, he wasn't much different than the guy he was 12 years ago. He clearly still thought he was pretty hot stuff and his graduate degree and job on Wall Street probably only exacerbated that. I tried talking to him a few times, but conversation felt awkward and forced. Clearly, this was not a situation, where fate has a sense of irony and makes up for all the shit that it has dealt me by making my high school crush fall in love with me.
As we parted ways that night, he hugged me again and told me it was good to see me. Will we see each other again? Doubtful. I'd like to have dinner with him, but am too afraid to ask since I'm loathe to continue appearing as the geeky girl still carrying a torch for him (even though that could very well be true....)
After leaving the High School Reunion, I met up with Oscar and some of his friends. We hung out at a bar in Murray Hill, drinking and hanging out until Oscar sensed that I was near passing out from fatigue and took me home. But then once we got there, kept me awake for a good 2 more hours. Totally worth it.
The rest of the weekend passed in a blur of activities, with me getting an extra hour or so of sleep in every chance I could get. Interestingly enough, I was still hearing from Cam, who clearly doesn't know how to take a hint.
Today's Title from: After All by Peter Cetera and Cher
As he leaned back, our eyes met, and our faces registered utter shock and disbelief.
"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" I heard myself say. "What the hell are you doing here?"
He stood up and hugged me. I stumbled over my words as I asked him how long he had been living in New York, and what had brought him here. I have rarely felt more proud of myself than I did when I told him I had been here for 4 years.
My mind was going 1,000 miles an hour. I could barely put myself together enough to turn to Karen and say, "Karen, this is Jake. Jake Brown. We went to high school together." (A high school about 2,000 miles away in a pretty damn small state....)
What I didn't say, was that for a year of my life I was disastrously, obsessively in love with this man. And that in the space of 30 seconds, I reverted back to that girl, who was a National Honor society, Math club officer and extremely religious geek staring dreamily at the football star and the student body officer who used to rule my every single fantasy.
I had never, in my life, been so glad to have taken extra care with my makeup that night.
As we sat down, and my heart rate slowed, the flashbacks started coming. The middle of the night drives past his house (once without a shirt on because a friend had dared me), the walks past him in the hallway that would make me so nervous, the times when I would walk past his car in the parking lot and would lovingly run my hands along the sides of that big, ugly station wagon imagining all the dirty deeds that I could be convinced to do in the back, and the time he quizzed me on what a spark plug was and I TOTALLY failed.
Interestingly enough, he wasn't much different than the guy he was 12 years ago. He clearly still thought he was pretty hot stuff and his graduate degree and job on Wall Street probably only exacerbated that. I tried talking to him a few times, but conversation felt awkward and forced. Clearly, this was not a situation, where fate has a sense of irony and makes up for all the shit that it has dealt me by making my high school crush fall in love with me.
As we parted ways that night, he hugged me again and told me it was good to see me. Will we see each other again? Doubtful. I'd like to have dinner with him, but am too afraid to ask since I'm loathe to continue appearing as the geeky girl still carrying a torch for him (even though that could very well be true....)
After leaving the High School Reunion, I met up with Oscar and some of his friends. We hung out at a bar in Murray Hill, drinking and hanging out until Oscar sensed that I was near passing out from fatigue and took me home. But then once we got there, kept me awake for a good 2 more hours. Totally worth it.
The rest of the weekend passed in a blur of activities, with me getting an extra hour or so of sleep in every chance I could get. Interestingly enough, I was still hearing from Cam, who clearly doesn't know how to take a hint.
Today's Title from: After All by Peter Cetera and Cher
Labels: Jake Brown, Oscar
Posted by Chloe
at 9:17 AM |
Permalink to Well, here we are again; I guess it must be fate. |
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