Friday, August 17, 2007
I'll show you every way I've grown
I am only a minute or so late to meet Email Boy in the West Village and as I hurry up the steps of the Christopher-Sheridan stop. His back is to me and he doesn't see me, so I sneak up behind him and grab his ass as hard as I can. He whips around at lightning speed, fist raised and clenched- ready to do battle.
I laugh myself silly.
We saunter down West 4th street to one of my most favorite restaurants, Smorgas Chef, for an evening of shit-talking, and meatballs. I am telling him the story of having stayed at Oscar's the previous night and the conversation that changed everything for me with Oscar that morning.
Oscar and I had a misunderstanding, and in my typical fashion, I overreacted. I tell Email Boy about the statement that came out of my mouth in the midst of this understanding with Oscar-
"I'm sorry, but I'm terrible in relationships."
As this statement is coming out of my mouth, my mind kicks into high gear. I've been a little worried that I have been reading more into this situation with Oscar than intended. I've been afraid that I have been committing and he has is still thinking this is just casually dating. So, as the word 'relationship' comes bursting forth from my lips, I wonder how he will react. I expect him to say something to the tune of, "whoa nelly, lets not get ahead of ourselves here with this relationship business."
Oscar doesn't sugarcoat. And he doesn't say things just because he thinks it what I want to hear. He has no qualms about giving the straight-up honest truth.
He does not dissuade me of my ridiculous notions. Instead he says, "you're telling me!"
And I am not deluding myself. We are, in fact, in a relationship.
Email Boy listens to my story, stunned. By this time we are sitting at our table and have already ordered.
"Is this your first committed, sexually active relationship?" he asks.
I blush. I am embarrassed that this is the truth at 29.
I change the subject. We spend the rest of dinner discussing his horrific taste in women and what it is about him that makes every female he spends more than 2 minutes with turn into a raving psychotic stalker. While I am with him, one girl in particular calls twice. And texts. Its loony to watch. I am so careful with my actions towards men, especially in a new dating situation, that I cannot understand these women literally throwing themselves at him. If I wasn't watching it firsthand, I don't know that I would believe it.
After dinner he suggests a movie. We wander over to Union Square, load up on some candy at Duane Reade and get ourselves some tickets to Bourne Ultimatum. I am still going off of very little sleep for weeks, and having only gotten 2 hours worth the night before. Full of good food in a very dark theater, my body gives up the fight and I sleep through half of the movie. Email Boy nudges me constantly, but I'm too warm and cozy and absolutely content.
A contentment that reaches all the way to the deep, dark corners of my soul.
I have a great apartment that I get to keep living in- in New York City.
I have THE VERY BEST friends.
I have a boyfriend that in my unguarded moments will admit to being absolutely bat-shit nuts about.
Today's Title from: Someone Else's Life by Joshua Radin
I laugh myself silly.
We saunter down West 4th street to one of my most favorite restaurants, Smorgas Chef, for an evening of shit-talking, and meatballs. I am telling him the story of having stayed at Oscar's the previous night and the conversation that changed everything for me with Oscar that morning.
Oscar and I had a misunderstanding, and in my typical fashion, I overreacted. I tell Email Boy about the statement that came out of my mouth in the midst of this understanding with Oscar-
"I'm sorry, but I'm terrible in relationships."
As this statement is coming out of my mouth, my mind kicks into high gear. I've been a little worried that I have been reading more into this situation with Oscar than intended. I've been afraid that I have been committing and he has is still thinking this is just casually dating. So, as the word 'relationship' comes bursting forth from my lips, I wonder how he will react. I expect him to say something to the tune of, "whoa nelly, lets not get ahead of ourselves here with this relationship business."
Oscar doesn't sugarcoat. And he doesn't say things just because he thinks it what I want to hear. He has no qualms about giving the straight-up honest truth.
He does not dissuade me of my ridiculous notions. Instead he says, "you're telling me!"
And I am not deluding myself. We are, in fact, in a relationship.
Email Boy listens to my story, stunned. By this time we are sitting at our table and have already ordered.
"Is this your first committed, sexually active relationship?" he asks.
I blush. I am embarrassed that this is the truth at 29.
I change the subject. We spend the rest of dinner discussing his horrific taste in women and what it is about him that makes every female he spends more than 2 minutes with turn into a raving psychotic stalker. While I am with him, one girl in particular calls twice. And texts. Its loony to watch. I am so careful with my actions towards men, especially in a new dating situation, that I cannot understand these women literally throwing themselves at him. If I wasn't watching it firsthand, I don't know that I would believe it.
After dinner he suggests a movie. We wander over to Union Square, load up on some candy at Duane Reade and get ourselves some tickets to Bourne Ultimatum. I am still going off of very little sleep for weeks, and having only gotten 2 hours worth the night before. Full of good food in a very dark theater, my body gives up the fight and I sleep through half of the movie. Email Boy nudges me constantly, but I'm too warm and cozy and absolutely content.
A contentment that reaches all the way to the deep, dark corners of my soul.
I have a great apartment that I get to keep living in- in New York City.
I have THE VERY BEST friends.
I have a boyfriend that in my unguarded moments will admit to being absolutely bat-shit nuts about.
Today's Title from: Someone Else's Life by Joshua Radin
