Tuesday, June 26, 2007
I thought I was a fool for no-one
I have a problem with anger.
Sometimes I don't get angry enough. Sometimes I get too angry.
I can't seem to find a happy medium. I've learned to have conversations with myself about appropriate levels of anger.
It's silly.
I think I may be irrationally angry about how the events of last evening unfolded.
During our lengthy conversation on Sunday night, Oscar and I decided we would see each other either Monday (yesterday) or Tuesday (today). He wasn't sure which night he could do, due to some family obligations. He said he would call me and let me know.
So yesterday, he called me at noon, he had a break and wanted to hear my voice. He still wasn't sure if he would be able to get together that night. I needed to do laundry and could do it either night, depending on how things unfolded with him, and I didn't have any other plans in the pipeline, so I wasn't desperate for an answer. He told me he would call me later and to give me an update on things.
After work, I went and saw my waxer, and having still heard nothing from Oscar, headed home. Still no word by the time I got home around 7:45. So I got my laundry together. I got done with my laundry and still hadn't heard from Oscar. Everytime I looked at my phone, I got more and more angry.
9:45- I'm talking to my mom on the phone about my upcoming trip home, and I get a call waiting beep. It's that fucker, Oscar. I don't answer. I'm talking to my mom and his ass can fucking wait. Not to mention, why is 9:45 an acceptable time to discuss plans for the evening? IT'S NOT. If you want to see me, you need to call before 8:00. It's not a difficult concept.
10:15- I call him back and he doesn't answer, so I leave a message for him to call me back.
11:30- He finally fucking calls. I'm irritated, but am not being really obvious about it. We are making tentative plans for today (Tuesday), when he gets another call that he needs to take and says he'll call me back, which he doesn't.
So here's where I war with myself.
Do I roll with the punches and just chalk it up to things coming up, etc, etc?
Or am I justified in that I am ridiculously fucking angry and feel like he's treating me like shit?
Today's Title from: Supermassive Black Hole by Muse
Sometimes I don't get angry enough. Sometimes I get too angry.
I can't seem to find a happy medium. I've learned to have conversations with myself about appropriate levels of anger.
It's silly.
I think I may be irrationally angry about how the events of last evening unfolded.
During our lengthy conversation on Sunday night, Oscar and I decided we would see each other either Monday (yesterday) or Tuesday (today). He wasn't sure which night he could do, due to some family obligations. He said he would call me and let me know.
So yesterday, he called me at noon, he had a break and wanted to hear my voice. He still wasn't sure if he would be able to get together that night. I needed to do laundry and could do it either night, depending on how things unfolded with him, and I didn't have any other plans in the pipeline, so I wasn't desperate for an answer. He told me he would call me later and to give me an update on things.
After work, I went and saw my waxer, and having still heard nothing from Oscar, headed home. Still no word by the time I got home around 7:45. So I got my laundry together. I got done with my laundry and still hadn't heard from Oscar. Everytime I looked at my phone, I got more and more angry.
9:45- I'm talking to my mom on the phone about my upcoming trip home, and I get a call waiting beep. It's that fucker, Oscar. I don't answer. I'm talking to my mom and his ass can fucking wait. Not to mention, why is 9:45 an acceptable time to discuss plans for the evening? IT'S NOT. If you want to see me, you need to call before 8:00. It's not a difficult concept.
10:15- I call him back and he doesn't answer, so I leave a message for him to call me back.
11:30- He finally fucking calls. I'm irritated, but am not being really obvious about it. We are making tentative plans for today (Tuesday), when he gets another call that he needs to take and says he'll call me back, which he doesn't.
So here's where I war with myself.
Do I roll with the punches and just chalk it up to things coming up, etc, etc?
Or am I justified in that I am ridiculously fucking angry and feel like he's treating me like shit?
Today's Title from: Supermassive Black Hole by Muse
Labels: Oscar
