The Virginity Monologues

I went to a religious university. At this university, they offered courses regarding marriage and family. They had sections of these classes for the married and unmarried. The basic assumption in the unmarried class was that everyone had followed the teachings of the religion and abstained from having sex up to this point. So, there was always a part of the class where they discussed sex. It was everyone's favorite week of that class. One teacher told students that sex was like sneezing. A build-up, and then an explosion. And what is more unsatisfying than the build-up, but then the sneeze doesn't come? My best friend and I got a lot of mileage out of this analogy. Everytime one of us would sneeze, we would ask the other person, "How was it for you?" After the disastrous series of events that took place in Ireland earlier this year, we don't talk much anymore. I still think of her everytime I sneeze.

I swear on my soul, that there was a hooker on my subway last night. I could spend hours detailing the outfit, but I'll just give you what the main feature of it was- a sea-foam green slip dress, that was so see-through that I don't think it was ever meant to be a dress at all, but only to be worn underneath other clothing. Not ever as the main event. Also, imagine the heaviest eye makeup I've ever seen in real life. I didn't realize that hookers rode the subway. I guess they gotta go to work just like the rest of us!