Wednesday, November 28, 2007
I'm so tired of on-my-own
My life has never been more man-less, than it is right now.
They are all gone. All of them.
Its liberating and its scary.
Its liberating for obvious reasons. I don’t spend any of my life fretting over whether or not a guy is going to call. I’m not worrying about calling too much/too little. I don’t have to analyze how long to wait before I give up ‘the goods’. Its pleasant, this freedom.
It also makes me wonder- the eternal question- what is it about me that is so repellant?
Seriously. I honest to God cannot figure it out.
Uglier women than me have boyfriends.
Women that are larger in size than me have boyfriends.
Bitchier women than me have boyfriends.
Women that are smarter than me have boyfriends.
Women that are not even remotely as smart as me have boyfriends.
And its not just me. I have a lot of friends, that I think are amazing, amazing women- who are all single. And it doesn’t make sense to me. Why are men not beating down these women’s doors? Why can’t they see what they are missing out on?
I absolutely, positively cannot figure it out.
I mean, I think I am pretty god-damn amazing.
I’m smart. And not just average smart. I’m honor student, photographic memory smart. I’m funny. I’m vivacious. I like to have a good time, as much as I like to just stay home and chill sometimes. I’m not needy/clingy- I LOVE my independence and my alone time. I get along well with almost everyone I meet and I’m not a liability in group events. I can mold seamlessly into a new group. I have a seriously above-average sex drive. Like, I’ve never, and I do mean NEVER, said no to sex with someone that I have been involved with. I always say yes. Plus I like to be dirty. I’m a great cook and I enjoy cooking for others. And I LOVE to buy boyfriends things, something that says- “I’ve been thinking about you.” And truthfully, if you earn my loyalty- I will do ANYTHING for you. Absolutely anything. To top it all off- I’ve got a great career that is going somewhere that I love.
Okay, yes- having spent 98% of my dating life completely alone has made me a little set in my ways, and yes, I’m probably selfish.
And yes, I tend to set my expectations too high.
And yes, I have a large ass (on the flip side, I also have ginormous boobs).
But I don’t think these things are enough to make me completely undate-able.
It makes… no sense.
And it’s embarrassing! To have to admit, that at 30, yes 30! (well, in a month), I’ve never had a relationship make it to 6 months. People immediately wonder- what’s wrong with you?
How do I tell them- I don’t know?
Today's Title from: So Tired of Being Alone by Al Green
They are all gone. All of them.
Its liberating and its scary.
Its liberating for obvious reasons. I don’t spend any of my life fretting over whether or not a guy is going to call. I’m not worrying about calling too much/too little. I don’t have to analyze how long to wait before I give up ‘the goods’. Its pleasant, this freedom.
It also makes me wonder- the eternal question- what is it about me that is so repellant?
Seriously. I honest to God cannot figure it out.
Uglier women than me have boyfriends.
Women that are larger in size than me have boyfriends.
Bitchier women than me have boyfriends.
Women that are smarter than me have boyfriends.
Women that are not even remotely as smart as me have boyfriends.
And its not just me. I have a lot of friends, that I think are amazing, amazing women- who are all single. And it doesn’t make sense to me. Why are men not beating down these women’s doors? Why can’t they see what they are missing out on?
I absolutely, positively cannot figure it out.
I mean, I think I am pretty god-damn amazing.
I’m smart. And not just average smart. I’m honor student, photographic memory smart. I’m funny. I’m vivacious. I like to have a good time, as much as I like to just stay home and chill sometimes. I’m not needy/clingy- I LOVE my independence and my alone time. I get along well with almost everyone I meet and I’m not a liability in group events. I can mold seamlessly into a new group. I have a seriously above-average sex drive. Like, I’ve never, and I do mean NEVER, said no to sex with someone that I have been involved with. I always say yes. Plus I like to be dirty. I’m a great cook and I enjoy cooking for others. And I LOVE to buy boyfriends things, something that says- “I’ve been thinking about you.” And truthfully, if you earn my loyalty- I will do ANYTHING for you. Absolutely anything. To top it all off- I’ve got a great career that is going somewhere that I love.
Okay, yes- having spent 98% of my dating life completely alone has made me a little set in my ways, and yes, I’m probably selfish.
And yes, I tend to set my expectations too high.
And yes, I have a large ass (on the flip side, I also have ginormous boobs).
But I don’t think these things are enough to make me completely undate-able.
It makes… no sense.
And it’s embarrassing! To have to admit, that at 30, yes 30! (well, in a month), I’ve never had a relationship make it to 6 months. People immediately wonder- what’s wrong with you?
How do I tell them- I don’t know?
Today's Title from: So Tired of Being Alone by Al Green
