Sunday, September 09, 2007
I know I got to be right now, Cause I can't get much wronger
Coming off of a truly great weekend, one of the best I've had in ages, it makes me angry that the unresolved issues with Oscar are still nagging at me and keeping tears close at hand at all times.
On Friday night, Karen and I went to a concert together. It was loud, it was offensive and it was hilarious. We made our way home that night with ringing ears and gigantic smiles on our faces.
Saturday was my day to spend some time completely by myself. I've had a hard time enjoying only me time lately, as the issues with Oscar are never far from my thoughts and in the time when I'm not busily surrounded by people and noise, contemplating his apathy has been painful for me. I haven't wanted to be alone, to be in a situation where I can't distract myself from my head.
But Saturday, I was ecstatic to just wander the city all by myself- window shopping and being more and more sure that I was going to be okay- completely alone. I was sure of it for the first time in months.
Later I met up with Spatch at her new apartment. We made cookies and drank wine and basked in catching up. Later I convinced her to have dinner at my favorite Indian restaurant in the East Village, even though we ate almost nothing, having filled ourselves ridiculously full with chocolate chip cookie dough earlier.
In a complete food coma, we made our way to the west side of Manhattan for an anniversary party for Spatch's friends Dicey and PJ. I love parties that Spatch takes me to. The people are also so very, very interesting and I invariably always get hit on. Some offers are tempting, others are not. Not to mention, the people are always incredibly friendly. They ask questions that they genuinely want to know the answer to. I generally don't want to leave.
This morning Karen and I headed up to the Bronx to go to church and lunch with a friend for her birthday. It was a perfect day. It was nice to be in church again. Its been a long time for me. And lunch with her family was wonderful and perfect and the waffles at Amy Ruth's were to die for.
Its been the perfect weekend. Perfect friends. Perfect parties. The weather has been a little too hot for my taste, but I'm not complaining.
But all weekend the perfection was marred. Marred by a pending break-up that I don't really want to do. I don't really want him out of my life. But the good times are not worth the bad times. I have to be strong enough to do this.
Today's Title from: Stronger by Kanye West
On Friday night, Karen and I went to a concert together. It was loud, it was offensive and it was hilarious. We made our way home that night with ringing ears and gigantic smiles on our faces.
Saturday was my day to spend some time completely by myself. I've had a hard time enjoying only me time lately, as the issues with Oscar are never far from my thoughts and in the time when I'm not busily surrounded by people and noise, contemplating his apathy has been painful for me. I haven't wanted to be alone, to be in a situation where I can't distract myself from my head.
But Saturday, I was ecstatic to just wander the city all by myself- window shopping and being more and more sure that I was going to be okay- completely alone. I was sure of it for the first time in months.
Later I met up with Spatch at her new apartment. We made cookies and drank wine and basked in catching up. Later I convinced her to have dinner at my favorite Indian restaurant in the East Village, even though we ate almost nothing, having filled ourselves ridiculously full with chocolate chip cookie dough earlier.
In a complete food coma, we made our way to the west side of Manhattan for an anniversary party for Spatch's friends Dicey and PJ. I love parties that Spatch takes me to. The people are also so very, very interesting and I invariably always get hit on. Some offers are tempting, others are not. Not to mention, the people are always incredibly friendly. They ask questions that they genuinely want to know the answer to. I generally don't want to leave.
This morning Karen and I headed up to the Bronx to go to church and lunch with a friend for her birthday. It was a perfect day. It was nice to be in church again. Its been a long time for me. And lunch with her family was wonderful and perfect and the waffles at Amy Ruth's were to die for.
Its been the perfect weekend. Perfect friends. Perfect parties. The weather has been a little too hot for my taste, but I'm not complaining.
But all weekend the perfection was marred. Marred by a pending break-up that I don't really want to do. I don't really want him out of my life. But the good times are not worth the bad times. I have to be strong enough to do this.
Today's Title from: Stronger by Kanye West
Posted by Chloe
at 10:04 PM |
Permalink to I know I got to be right now, Cause I can't get much wronger |
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