Thursday, June 01, 2006
Setting the Record Straight
Email Boy. It's a conversation I've been having a LOT lately, and people are confused.
Make no mistake about it- I love him. Very, very much. This has grown exponentially in the last few months of obscene amounts of communication. He has become one of my best friends. He gets me- he gets my humor, my jokes, my sarcasm... the things that make me tick. He doesn't get offended at the abuse that I heap on him, and I never have to fret over not hearing from him. He may not be as smart as me (which he openly acknowledges), but that doesn't bother me at all. He understands the importance of family, and commitment and being genuine and sincere. I never, ever have to worry that he will hurt me. I know that he won't. In short- he is my perfect man. The love of my life.
People seem to think that I have closed the door on dating him. This is not true. I would date him in a heartbeat. Hell, I would probably even marry him. It's him who is not interested in dating me. I know him. I know men. I know society. Guys like him don't date girls like me. He dates skinny, beautiful women with perfectly coordinated scarf belts, handbags and toenails. I will acknowledge that he cares for me on some level, he does not, however, want to bang me on a regular basis. This I know.
I have to accept things for how they are, or this friendship won't work. If I continue to secretly hope that he'll one day realize that he loves big asses, it won't be a real friendship. And I want him in my life, on any terms that I can get. So, friendship has to be enough for me. I refuse to waste time pining for what I can't have.
Make no mistake about it- I love him. Very, very much. This has grown exponentially in the last few months of obscene amounts of communication. He has become one of my best friends. He gets me- he gets my humor, my jokes, my sarcasm... the things that make me tick. He doesn't get offended at the abuse that I heap on him, and I never have to fret over not hearing from him. He may not be as smart as me (which he openly acknowledges), but that doesn't bother me at all. He understands the importance of family, and commitment and being genuine and sincere. I never, ever have to worry that he will hurt me. I know that he won't. In short- he is my perfect man. The love of my life.
People seem to think that I have closed the door on dating him. This is not true. I would date him in a heartbeat. Hell, I would probably even marry him. It's him who is not interested in dating me. I know him. I know men. I know society. Guys like him don't date girls like me. He dates skinny, beautiful women with perfectly coordinated scarf belts, handbags and toenails. I will acknowledge that he cares for me on some level, he does not, however, want to bang me on a regular basis. This I know.
I have to accept things for how they are, or this friendship won't work. If I continue to secretly hope that he'll one day realize that he loves big asses, it won't be a real friendship. And I want him in my life, on any terms that I can get. So, friendship has to be enough for me. I refuse to waste time pining for what I can't have.
Labels: Email Boy
