Wednesday, May 17, 2006
Not A Love Letter
Dear Tourists Outside Whatever Gargantuan Hotel is on Broadway between 40th and 41st-
I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciated one of you whiny bitches yelling loud enough for me to hear, "I can't believe she just slammed into you!", as I continued on my journey to the subway yesterday after a minor incident involving myself and the elbow of one of you in one of the most inconsiderate groups of tourists I have ever had the misfortune to encounter.
And just to set things straight, I did not slam into anybody. I was walking along the sidewalk, in a perfectly straight line with enough space in between me and the large group of you blocking our sidewalk to insure that there would be no touching, I may have been mildly distracted by the hideousness of one of your skirts, but I managed to keep my wits about me. Unfortunately, one of the taller of your immature boys wasn't paying attention, as he was so in awe of our city, that he walked backward, directly into me, slamming his elbow into my head. That's right, my head. In these situations, I generally find that it's better if I just don't say anything, to avoid having to involve men in uniform later. So, I just kept walking. Which may have implied some sort of guilt on my part, although there was none, thus prompting the yelling that I mentioned previously.
I can't thank you enough for the constant irritation that you are to those of us trying to live here.
Sincerely-
Chloe
A New Yorker
I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciated one of you whiny bitches yelling loud enough for me to hear, "I can't believe she just slammed into you!", as I continued on my journey to the subway yesterday after a minor incident involving myself and the elbow of one of you in one of the most inconsiderate groups of tourists I have ever had the misfortune to encounter.
And just to set things straight, I did not slam into anybody. I was walking along the sidewalk, in a perfectly straight line with enough space in between me and the large group of you blocking our sidewalk to insure that there would be no touching, I may have been mildly distracted by the hideousness of one of your skirts, but I managed to keep my wits about me. Unfortunately, one of the taller of your immature boys wasn't paying attention, as he was so in awe of our city, that he walked backward, directly into me, slamming his elbow into my head. That's right, my head. In these situations, I generally find that it's better if I just don't say anything, to avoid having to involve men in uniform later. So, I just kept walking. Which may have implied some sort of guilt on my part, although there was none, thus prompting the yelling that I mentioned previously.
I can't thank you enough for the constant irritation that you are to those of us trying to live here.
Sincerely-
Chloe
A New Yorker
