Thursday, December 01, 2005
Forgiven
Now that we are officially talking again, I should probably tell the story of Josh.
We met my sophomore year of college. Upon our first meeting we hated each other. We have told the story many, many times and it's pretty much 50/50 as to who was the bigger asshole on our first encounter. Somehow we overcame it and eventually grew to be the closest of friends. We lived next door to each other and were pretty much inseperable. We would talk until the wee hours of morning almost every night. We went out of town for weekends together, he went home with me, he became everything to me. It was never romantic. He jokingly tried to kiss me a couple of times, but physical and romance and all that shit never became an issue. I knew more about him than anyone and he about me.
And, holy shit, I loved him. More than I've ever loved anyone, outside of my family.
5 years. 5 years we were in each others lives. After he moved 45 minutes away from me, we obviously didn't spend as much time together, but we never lost our connection. We supported each other over the phone, and I would often spend weekends at his house (men weren't allowed at my house). There was no one on earth I trusted more. When anything went bad, he was the first person I went to.
Even though he forgot my birthday, almost every year.
The story takes WAY too long to tell, but it didn't end pretty. It takes a lot to push me to the point of walking away. And I walked away after writing a very, very nasty email. It wasn't very adult of me. But I couldn't take his apathy towards me anymore. It's not enough to tell me that you love me. That doesn't excuse treating me like shit behavior.
3 years have passed. He's a stubborn individual and I didn't think he would ever talk to me again. I found him by Googling him the other day and sent him an email. We've been writing everyday since.
Is it weird that I want nothing more than to go to him, and talk to him until I can't talk anymore? Do you think his wife would mind?
We met my sophomore year of college. Upon our first meeting we hated each other. We have told the story many, many times and it's pretty much 50/50 as to who was the bigger asshole on our first encounter. Somehow we overcame it and eventually grew to be the closest of friends. We lived next door to each other and were pretty much inseperable. We would talk until the wee hours of morning almost every night. We went out of town for weekends together, he went home with me, he became everything to me. It was never romantic. He jokingly tried to kiss me a couple of times, but physical and romance and all that shit never became an issue. I knew more about him than anyone and he about me.
And, holy shit, I loved him. More than I've ever loved anyone, outside of my family.
5 years. 5 years we were in each others lives. After he moved 45 minutes away from me, we obviously didn't spend as much time together, but we never lost our connection. We supported each other over the phone, and I would often spend weekends at his house (men weren't allowed at my house). There was no one on earth I trusted more. When anything went bad, he was the first person I went to.
Even though he forgot my birthday, almost every year.
The story takes WAY too long to tell, but it didn't end pretty. It takes a lot to push me to the point of walking away. And I walked away after writing a very, very nasty email. It wasn't very adult of me. But I couldn't take his apathy towards me anymore. It's not enough to tell me that you love me. That doesn't excuse treating me like shit behavior.
3 years have passed. He's a stubborn individual and I didn't think he would ever talk to me again. I found him by Googling him the other day and sent him an email. We've been writing everyday since.
Is it weird that I want nothing more than to go to him, and talk to him until I can't talk anymore? Do you think his wife would mind?
