Wednesday, November 16, 2005
How Could I Forget?
I forgot that they existed. I was searching for another email when I came across them.
The emails.
From the ex.
I did an exorcism of all things ex-related a few months ago and I deleted all of the emails chronicling our relationship except for 2. The 2 emails remind me of how great I had it, and what it's like to be loved by someone really amazing.
I just read them again.
Let me give you a little taste of what one of them says-
"And I can't say this enough, you mean so much to me. The last thing I want to do is not be with you."
WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING?
I have been considering having sex with dubious-occupation-street-boyfriend, Ted, when I had THIS!
How did my standards get so low? How could I have forgotten what love is really about and laid it all on a sacrificial altar for a few moments of pleasure, when I know how much better it can be?
Not that I want to get back together with my ex, because I don't. But, I want somebody to love me like that again. I want to know what sex is like when that kind of emotion is introduced.
Damn those emails. Maybe I should delete them. It's so much easier to indulge in indiscriminate sex when I remove those from the equation, when love doesn't matter at all.
The emails.
From the ex.
I did an exorcism of all things ex-related a few months ago and I deleted all of the emails chronicling our relationship except for 2. The 2 emails remind me of how great I had it, and what it's like to be loved by someone really amazing.
I just read them again.
Let me give you a little taste of what one of them says-
"And I can't say this enough, you mean so much to me. The last thing I want to do is not be with you."
WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING?
I have been considering having sex with dubious-occupation-street-boyfriend, Ted, when I had THIS!
How did my standards get so low? How could I have forgotten what love is really about and laid it all on a sacrificial altar for a few moments of pleasure, when I know how much better it can be?
Not that I want to get back together with my ex, because I don't. But, I want somebody to love me like that again. I want to know what sex is like when that kind of emotion is introduced.
Damn those emails. Maybe I should delete them. It's so much easier to indulge in indiscriminate sex when I remove those from the equation, when love doesn't matter at all.
Labels: The Ex
