Sunday, July 27, 2008
Holding your heart will not help you breathe
So, I am getting better, sort of. I have good days, great days and shitty days.
The coumadin (my super-power anticoagulant), however, sucks. I'm not a big drinker, but having my ability to drink taken away is... unpleasant. And this is not a drug that a person can play fast and loose with the 'recommendations'. Mis-using this drug can have fatal complications. FANTASTIC!
Also, I bruise easily. My super-power anticoagulant is great for treating someone who has just escaped the jaws of death by blood clot, but maintaing my blood at a decreased clotting level for several months, means that I will continue to look like a battered women for some time. I have this wacky bruise on my wrist, that I don't even know how I got it, that has prompted MANY people to make jokes about what sort of activities may be going on behind the closed doors at my house, including, but not limited to, my pilates instructor.
On another subject, I've lost a little over 30 pounds. I just went shopping at H&M where I fit into everything I tried on, something that has never happened to me before in the entirety of my life. I also just hit a major benchmark, a number that I haven't been below since I was in high school. It feels great, but it also feels a little empty. I'm still unhappy with my body and people don't notice as much as I want them to. I want to look dramatically different. And instead, I still feel... chubby. Argh. This blood clot bullshit isn't helping either.
Today's title from: Sooner or Later by N.E.R.D.
The coumadin (my super-power anticoagulant), however, sucks. I'm not a big drinker, but having my ability to drink taken away is... unpleasant. And this is not a drug that a person can play fast and loose with the 'recommendations'. Mis-using this drug can have fatal complications. FANTASTIC!
Also, I bruise easily. My super-power anticoagulant is great for treating someone who has just escaped the jaws of death by blood clot, but maintaing my blood at a decreased clotting level for several months, means that I will continue to look like a battered women for some time. I have this wacky bruise on my wrist, that I don't even know how I got it, that has prompted MANY people to make jokes about what sort of activities may be going on behind the closed doors at my house, including, but not limited to, my pilates instructor.
On another subject, I've lost a little over 30 pounds. I just went shopping at H&M where I fit into everything I tried on, something that has never happened to me before in the entirety of my life. I also just hit a major benchmark, a number that I haven't been below since I was in high school. It feels great, but it also feels a little empty. I'm still unhappy with my body and people don't notice as much as I want them to. I want to look dramatically different. And instead, I still feel... chubby. Argh. This blood clot bullshit isn't helping either.
Today's title from: Sooner or Later by N.E.R.D.
Posted by Chloe
at 4:22 PM |
Permalink to Holding your heart will not help you breathe |
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