Friday, May 02, 2008
The world is not your Oyster
Dear Oyster Bar-
Wow. I hardly know where to begin You were something else last night.
First of all, your hostess. Is she always that rude? I recognize that you are in Grand Central and your restaurant is heavily populated by tourists and believe me, I KNOW how fun it is to be mean to tourists. But, I am not a tourist. Neither were either of my 2 friends. Don’t treat us like we’re insignificant. Kay? It pissed me off. Especially when only about 5 minutes after she told us it would be a 30 minute wait, she was screaming my friends name across the bar, as if we had somehow wronged her. Ugh. She was spectacularly unpleasant.
But, we were pleased to be seated earlier than anticipated after our extra hard workout, having attended a 30 min abs class after our usual hour in the dance class. We sat down, we excitedly discussed our options. Our bus boy was quite attentive with our water glasses and the bread bowl, while we waited for our waiter/waitress to show up. And waited. And waited. And waited.
We tried to flag down multiple other servers while growing more and more irate, asking them to please find out waiter and send him to us. Almost every single person we spoke to was rude, insisting that they weren’t out waiter and essentially being completely useless. It was HOT.
Finally, I took matters into my own hands. I found the restaurant manager and asked him to please send a server to our table. Immediately. Luckily for him, the manager was cute and both of my friends agreed that they would happily have sex with him (not me though. I’m not particularly partial to the white and skinny), so we did not unleash our wrath on his cute face.
And then, glory be, a WAITER arrived! He took our order! The heavens sang! My friends’ oysters arrived. And all was good in the world. Then, the empty oyster shells were taken away. And we eagerly anticipated our entrees. And waited. And waited. And waited. Meanwhile, drinking glass after glass of wine, because we had been promised comped drinks and dessert.
After waiting way too long, we saw a waiter approaching. We saw on his tray 2 lobsters and a covered dish. This HAD to be us! And it was! Yay! And then, my friends’ lobsters were COLD. COLD LOBSTER that should have just barely been pulled from The Steamer. My food wasn’t exactly on the hot side either, which means, it had been just sitting there forever. You guys really know how to treat your guests, don’t you?
And so, the lobsters went back while I dug into my spectacularly unremarkable shrimp that I was paying a totally unwarranted $27 for. That’s right. $27. For shrimp and some steamed veggies. Ahem. That’s highway robbery. Thanks.
By then, we had a designated waiter who was doing his absolute best to make up for the sins of his predecessors. He was great. If I ever go back, I will ask for him. However, I will never go back. EVER.
I don’t care that your pecan pie was delicious.
That was, hands down, one of the worst dining experiences I’ve ever had. It’s a good thing for you that Spatch and Ana are the exact friends that a person would want to be with when stuck in this situation.
Thanks for nothing.
Chloe
Wow. I hardly know where to begin You were something else last night.
First of all, your hostess. Is she always that rude? I recognize that you are in Grand Central and your restaurant is heavily populated by tourists and believe me, I KNOW how fun it is to be mean to tourists. But, I am not a tourist. Neither were either of my 2 friends. Don’t treat us like we’re insignificant. Kay? It pissed me off. Especially when only about 5 minutes after she told us it would be a 30 minute wait, she was screaming my friends name across the bar, as if we had somehow wronged her. Ugh. She was spectacularly unpleasant.
But, we were pleased to be seated earlier than anticipated after our extra hard workout, having attended a 30 min abs class after our usual hour in the dance class. We sat down, we excitedly discussed our options. Our bus boy was quite attentive with our water glasses and the bread bowl, while we waited for our waiter/waitress to show up. And waited. And waited. And waited.
We tried to flag down multiple other servers while growing more and more irate, asking them to please find out waiter and send him to us. Almost every single person we spoke to was rude, insisting that they weren’t out waiter and essentially being completely useless. It was HOT.
Finally, I took matters into my own hands. I found the restaurant manager and asked him to please send a server to our table. Immediately. Luckily for him, the manager was cute and both of my friends agreed that they would happily have sex with him (not me though. I’m not particularly partial to the white and skinny), so we did not unleash our wrath on his cute face.
And then, glory be, a WAITER arrived! He took our order! The heavens sang! My friends’ oysters arrived. And all was good in the world. Then, the empty oyster shells were taken away. And we eagerly anticipated our entrees. And waited. And waited. And waited. Meanwhile, drinking glass after glass of wine, because we had been promised comped drinks and dessert.
After waiting way too long, we saw a waiter approaching. We saw on his tray 2 lobsters and a covered dish. This HAD to be us! And it was! Yay! And then, my friends’ lobsters were COLD. COLD LOBSTER that should have just barely been pulled from The Steamer. My food wasn’t exactly on the hot side either, which means, it had been just sitting there forever. You guys really know how to treat your guests, don’t you?
And so, the lobsters went back while I dug into my spectacularly unremarkable shrimp that I was paying a totally unwarranted $27 for. That’s right. $27. For shrimp and some steamed veggies. Ahem. That’s highway robbery. Thanks.
By then, we had a designated waiter who was doing his absolute best to make up for the sins of his predecessors. He was great. If I ever go back, I will ask for him. However, I will never go back. EVER.
I don’t care that your pecan pie was delicious.
That was, hands down, one of the worst dining experiences I’ve ever had. It’s a good thing for you that Spatch and Ana are the exact friends that a person would want to be with when stuck in this situation.
Thanks for nothing.
Chloe
