Wednesday, March 26, 2008
It could be sweet, Like a long forgotten dream
HI! I’m here! I’m just busy.
Like ridiculously busy.
Busy in the normal, routine sense.
And also busy in the abstract sense.
I decided that this year is going to be MY year. Its going to be the year that I get my life in order.
I’m going to get my life in order in the mental/emotional sense. I started seeing a psychologist about a month ago, and already, myself and other people see changes. I’m not necessarily hearing anything I haven’t heard/already thought before, but maybe it’s the way that its coming from her, that the point is being driven home.
I.E. Men will never respect me when I don’t demonstrate that I respect myself.
Its hard. And I cry; every single week. Sometimes great big heaving sobs, like when I told her all about the 6 month time period when I attempted living with my dad, because he asked me to, and how it ultimately affected me and my mom. And how to this day, the day that I moved back to my mom’s house is the Single Worst Day of My Life. Followed closely by the day that I left my host mom in Russia.
I’m not dating for now. And except for the minor setback that was The Trainer, I’ve stayed pretty true to that since late January after The DJ Debacle. I’ve purged my life of all men who randomly pop up occasionally. For the first time in my life, I’m insulted by their inquiries to ‘come through’ instead of flattered. The half-assed attention that I get from these losers isn’t even remotely appealing to me anymore. And that feels pretty damn good.
I’m getting my life in order financially. I started seeing a financial advisor who is going to help me start setting myself up for retirement and allow me to enjoy New York, without living paycheck to paycheck and constantly feeling broke like I do now. It’s the number one reason that I don’t sleep at night. And its unpleasant. I’m absolutely terrible with money and at 30, this shit needs to stop.
I’d like to say that I’m also going to get my life in order physically, but honestly, this is the area where I have the LEAST amount of motivation. I’d like to be the kind of person who goes to the gym for at least 45 minutes everyday, and I’d like to lose a significant amount of weight (although managing to keep a relatively fat ass at the same time), but being a lazy Foodie completely works against me in this scenario. I’m working on it. I need a gym buddy. And I need to eat at home a lot more often (which will be healthier and better for my budget!)
But, like I said, I’m a busy girl. I won’t go into the specifics of my weekend, because its gets boring after a while. But needless to say, it was FULL and completely awesome.
Today's Title from: It Could Be Sweet by Portishead
Like ridiculously busy.
Busy in the normal, routine sense.
And also busy in the abstract sense.
I decided that this year is going to be MY year. Its going to be the year that I get my life in order.
I’m going to get my life in order in the mental/emotional sense. I started seeing a psychologist about a month ago, and already, myself and other people see changes. I’m not necessarily hearing anything I haven’t heard/already thought before, but maybe it’s the way that its coming from her, that the point is being driven home.
I.E. Men will never respect me when I don’t demonstrate that I respect myself.
Its hard. And I cry; every single week. Sometimes great big heaving sobs, like when I told her all about the 6 month time period when I attempted living with my dad, because he asked me to, and how it ultimately affected me and my mom. And how to this day, the day that I moved back to my mom’s house is the Single Worst Day of My Life. Followed closely by the day that I left my host mom in Russia.
I’m not dating for now. And except for the minor setback that was The Trainer, I’ve stayed pretty true to that since late January after The DJ Debacle. I’ve purged my life of all men who randomly pop up occasionally. For the first time in my life, I’m insulted by their inquiries to ‘come through’ instead of flattered. The half-assed attention that I get from these losers isn’t even remotely appealing to me anymore. And that feels pretty damn good.
I’m getting my life in order financially. I started seeing a financial advisor who is going to help me start setting myself up for retirement and allow me to enjoy New York, without living paycheck to paycheck and constantly feeling broke like I do now. It’s the number one reason that I don’t sleep at night. And its unpleasant. I’m absolutely terrible with money and at 30, this shit needs to stop.
I’d like to say that I’m also going to get my life in order physically, but honestly, this is the area where I have the LEAST amount of motivation. I’d like to be the kind of person who goes to the gym for at least 45 minutes everyday, and I’d like to lose a significant amount of weight (although managing to keep a relatively fat ass at the same time), but being a lazy Foodie completely works against me in this scenario. I’m working on it. I need a gym buddy. And I need to eat at home a lot more often (which will be healthier and better for my budget!)
But, like I said, I’m a busy girl. I won’t go into the specifics of my weekend, because its gets boring after a while. But needless to say, it was FULL and completely awesome.
Today's Title from: It Could Be Sweet by Portishead
Posted by Chloe
at 2:59 PM |
Permalink to It could be sweet, Like a long forgotten dream |
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