Wednesday, March 05, 2008
They fight and bite and fight!
Dear Lady at the Hardware Store Last Night-
I came to you after a trek to the upper east side Home Depot, where I learned that Home Depot’s in Manhattan will not cut lumber for you, yet another joy of living in Manhattan. They referred me to one of your associates there to get my lumber. Now, my need for lumber probably seems insignificant to you. I only need four 60” slats to go on my bed frame, so my mattress will stop sinking into the holes between the metal slats of the frame. It makes sleeping difficult and my back is always hurting these days. I know, I know, a box spring would solve my problem.
Well, super bitchy lady who made me cry last night, I don’t have a box spring. I had to throw mine out. Why did I throw my box spring out? Two words. Two words that are guaranteed to strike fear into the heart of any New Yorker.
Bed bugs.
These two words are the source of the immense amount of personal angst that I am currently going through. Every day when I wake up, I feel less and less equipped to deal with the stress of this problem. I’ve cleaned out my room thoroughly. I threw away my box spring and my rug. I have learned to put away every single piece of clothing after I’m done with it, and have sealed laundry into plastic bags. I’ve never been so tidy in my entire life. I’m washing my sheets at least once a week.
And yet, I am still waking up with new bites, every single morning.
I have cried. I have screamed in frustration. I have to wear long sleeves all the time, so people won’t ask what’s wrong with my arm. I haven’t gotten a pedicure in months because I am embarrassed at what my feet and ankles look like.
And I itch, all the god-damn time.
So please, before opting for uber-bitchy route to random unsuspecting customer who comes to your store, and may be dealing with some issues that make them a little sensitive and on edge, could you maybe be a little less rough and abrasive, and give them 30 seconds of your undivided attention to tell them when the fuck Juan will be in to cut them some damn lumber?
Thanks-
Chloe
Dear Pandora,
Please stop playing so much Jack Johnson and Jimmy Eat World. I said I liked them. I didn't say I want to drown myself in them.
Thanks!
Chloe
Dear New Office Mate-
You. Are. Awesome.
Smooches-
Chloe
Today's Title from: The Itchy and Scratchy Show Theme Song
I came to you after a trek to the upper east side Home Depot, where I learned that Home Depot’s in Manhattan will not cut lumber for you, yet another joy of living in Manhattan. They referred me to one of your associates there to get my lumber. Now, my need for lumber probably seems insignificant to you. I only need four 60” slats to go on my bed frame, so my mattress will stop sinking into the holes between the metal slats of the frame. It makes sleeping difficult and my back is always hurting these days. I know, I know, a box spring would solve my problem.
Well, super bitchy lady who made me cry last night, I don’t have a box spring. I had to throw mine out. Why did I throw my box spring out? Two words. Two words that are guaranteed to strike fear into the heart of any New Yorker.
Bed bugs.
These two words are the source of the immense amount of personal angst that I am currently going through. Every day when I wake up, I feel less and less equipped to deal with the stress of this problem. I’ve cleaned out my room thoroughly. I threw away my box spring and my rug. I have learned to put away every single piece of clothing after I’m done with it, and have sealed laundry into plastic bags. I’ve never been so tidy in my entire life. I’m washing my sheets at least once a week.
And yet, I am still waking up with new bites, every single morning.
I have cried. I have screamed in frustration. I have to wear long sleeves all the time, so people won’t ask what’s wrong with my arm. I haven’t gotten a pedicure in months because I am embarrassed at what my feet and ankles look like.
And I itch, all the god-damn time.
So please, before opting for uber-bitchy route to random unsuspecting customer who comes to your store, and may be dealing with some issues that make them a little sensitive and on edge, could you maybe be a little less rough and abrasive, and give them 30 seconds of your undivided attention to tell them when the fuck Juan will be in to cut them some damn lumber?
Thanks-
Chloe
Dear Pandora,
Please stop playing so much Jack Johnson and Jimmy Eat World. I said I liked them. I didn't say I want to drown myself in them.
Thanks!
Chloe
Dear New Office Mate-
You. Are. Awesome.
Smooches-
Chloe
Today's Title from: The Itchy and Scratchy Show Theme Song
