Tuesday, February 19, 2008
And what you wish for won't come true
I get a bagel for breakfast almost everyday. Yeah, its probably a large part of the reason why I have a fat ass, but I’m a carb addict and I admit it. Besides, I love my fat ass.
Anyhoo- the guys at the bagel counter try to guess, everyday, what I’m going to order. And they are usually wrong. Some days it’s a sesame bagel with veggie cream cheese, sometimes is a plain bagel with walnut and raisin cream cheese, my favorite is a cinnamon raisin bagel with butter, but I also really enjoy an onion bagel toasted with butter. I don’t like to eat the same thing everyday, and I get bored very easily. Today, I got yelled at for never being able to make up my mind.
I told him it was my god given right as a woman.
___________________________________________________________________
So, I have previously mentioned that sometimes I am ‘on’ right? It’s a strange phenomenon that I still haven’t figured out yet. Lately, I seem to be permanently ‘on’. I think it is directly related to the fact that for the first time in my life, I would genuinely rather slit my wrists than date.
Remember the tall, adorably awkward white boy that I met at a party last weekend? I’ve never, in my life, been so grateful that someone didn’t call. The thought of actually going on a date with him caused me literal physical pain.
So yesterday, I was leaving the gym. It was warm and humid yesterday, so I was an absolute sweaty mess. Just as I was walking out the front doors of the gym, a trainer rounded the corner and was coming towards me, I registered that he was cute. He smiled at me and said, “hi!”
In my: I’m-Not-Dating-Besides-You’re-a-Trainer-And-Required-To-Be-Nice-To-Everyone mode, I simply smiled and said a weak hi and continued my journey out the door. The Trainer FOLLOWED me out the door and was all, “Excuse me!”
I stopped and turned around. Wary.
Trainer: Wow. How did I miss you? (he sticks out his hand) Hi, I’m Ted.
Me: Hi, I’m Chloe.
Small talk ensues.
Ted the Trainer: So, what do I have to do to train you?
Me (cheekily): Do I look like I need a trainer? (I totally do! I’ve mentioned the fat ass?) What are you suggesting?
Ted the Trainer: No, no. I just thought you were cute and wanted to train you.
Me: Ha. You say that to all the girls.
Ted the Trainer: Actually, I don’t. I’m 37 years old. I don’t play games. And when I see something I like I go after it.
Me: Well, honestly, I can’t afford a trainer right now.
Ted the Trainer: That’s okay, I’ll train you for free. What’s your schedule?
Me: Honestly, I would feel badly, getting trained for free.
Ted the Trainer: Honestly, I think you’re cute and I’d like to spend more time with you.
He gives me his number and begs me to call.
I am still sort of reeling from the experience and trying to decide if he's complete bullshit or not.
Today's Title from: What You Wish For by Guster
Anyhoo- the guys at the bagel counter try to guess, everyday, what I’m going to order. And they are usually wrong. Some days it’s a sesame bagel with veggie cream cheese, sometimes is a plain bagel with walnut and raisin cream cheese, my favorite is a cinnamon raisin bagel with butter, but I also really enjoy an onion bagel toasted with butter. I don’t like to eat the same thing everyday, and I get bored very easily. Today, I got yelled at for never being able to make up my mind.
I told him it was my god given right as a woman.
___________________________________________________________________
So, I have previously mentioned that sometimes I am ‘on’ right? It’s a strange phenomenon that I still haven’t figured out yet. Lately, I seem to be permanently ‘on’. I think it is directly related to the fact that for the first time in my life, I would genuinely rather slit my wrists than date.
Remember the tall, adorably awkward white boy that I met at a party last weekend? I’ve never, in my life, been so grateful that someone didn’t call. The thought of actually going on a date with him caused me literal physical pain.
So yesterday, I was leaving the gym. It was warm and humid yesterday, so I was an absolute sweaty mess. Just as I was walking out the front doors of the gym, a trainer rounded the corner and was coming towards me, I registered that he was cute. He smiled at me and said, “hi!”
In my: I’m-Not-Dating-Besides-You’re-a-Trainer-And-Required-To-Be-Nice-To-Everyone mode, I simply smiled and said a weak hi and continued my journey out the door. The Trainer FOLLOWED me out the door and was all, “Excuse me!”
I stopped and turned around. Wary.
Trainer: Wow. How did I miss you? (he sticks out his hand) Hi, I’m Ted.
Me: Hi, I’m Chloe.
Small talk ensues.
Ted the Trainer: So, what do I have to do to train you?
Me (cheekily): Do I look like I need a trainer? (I totally do! I’ve mentioned the fat ass?) What are you suggesting?
Ted the Trainer: No, no. I just thought you were cute and wanted to train you.
Me: Ha. You say that to all the girls.
Ted the Trainer: Actually, I don’t. I’m 37 years old. I don’t play games. And when I see something I like I go after it.
Me: Well, honestly, I can’t afford a trainer right now.
Ted the Trainer: That’s okay, I’ll train you for free. What’s your schedule?
Me: Honestly, I would feel badly, getting trained for free.
Ted the Trainer: Honestly, I think you’re cute and I’d like to spend more time with you.
He gives me his number and begs me to call.
I am still sort of reeling from the experience and trying to decide if he's complete bullshit or not.
Today's Title from: What You Wish For by Guster
Labels: Ted
