Monday, January 28, 2008
Is it too much to think that we could have it all?
I have a confession to make. I used to listen to country music. A lot.
On Saturday night, Karen and I were talking on my bed, and I was scrolling through her iPod when I ran across a singer who sings love songs that used to have me absolutely pining for the kind of love that he sang about. I immediately plugged the ipod into my speakers, and Karen and I sang along to the songs that my heart never forgot.
And I was immediately taken back to my years in high school, riding around in my friend, Bryan’s, truck. Of hot summer nights spent at county fairs and pretending I was in Europe by driving on the wrong side of the road and scaring all my friends; and days spent lazily floating down the river in an innertube. I remembered summer school and how my best friend and I raced my next door neighbor every single morning to the high school across the city. I remembered the weeks spent camping with my hair braided into 2 french braids and a bandana permanently tied on my head and the time I sliced my left index finger open with a pocket knife and had to get 8 stitches. I remembered 4 wheeling and water-skiing and all of the things that you do when you have no other care in the world, but filling your days with friends and as much fun as possible.
And I remembered how I used to believe in love. Before relationship after relationship left me a little more cynical and jaded trying desperately to be more and more realistic with my expectations at the beginning of each one.
I remembered the relationship that taught me that love isn’t always enough (The Ex) and the relationship that taught me that loving someone with all your heart can’t make them be the person you want them to be (Oscar).
And I remembered that deep down- I still believe in love. It MUST exist. I’ve seen it. I’ve heard songs sung about it.
And even though right now it hurts and my plan is to remove myself from the market for a good long while, I believe it will happen someday.
Someday when I know I am good enough to deserve it.
Today's Title from: If I Were You by Collin Raye
On Saturday night, Karen and I were talking on my bed, and I was scrolling through her iPod when I ran across a singer who sings love songs that used to have me absolutely pining for the kind of love that he sang about. I immediately plugged the ipod into my speakers, and Karen and I sang along to the songs that my heart never forgot.
And I was immediately taken back to my years in high school, riding around in my friend, Bryan’s, truck. Of hot summer nights spent at county fairs and pretending I was in Europe by driving on the wrong side of the road and scaring all my friends; and days spent lazily floating down the river in an innertube. I remembered summer school and how my best friend and I raced my next door neighbor every single morning to the high school across the city. I remembered the weeks spent camping with my hair braided into 2 french braids and a bandana permanently tied on my head and the time I sliced my left index finger open with a pocket knife and had to get 8 stitches. I remembered 4 wheeling and water-skiing and all of the things that you do when you have no other care in the world, but filling your days with friends and as much fun as possible.
And I remembered how I used to believe in love. Before relationship after relationship left me a little more cynical and jaded trying desperately to be more and more realistic with my expectations at the beginning of each one.
I remembered the relationship that taught me that love isn’t always enough (The Ex) and the relationship that taught me that loving someone with all your heart can’t make them be the person you want them to be (Oscar).
And I remembered that deep down- I still believe in love. It MUST exist. I’ve seen it. I’ve heard songs sung about it.
And even though right now it hurts and my plan is to remove myself from the market for a good long while, I believe it will happen someday.
Someday when I know I am good enough to deserve it.
Today's Title from: If I Were You by Collin Raye
Posted by Chloe
at 12:31 PM |
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