Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Tomorrow go back to being friends
I didn't write on Friday, because something happened on Thursday night that I wasn't ready to talk about yet.
I still don't know if I'm ready to talk about it.
Marc must have sensed that I was maligning him and calling him a pussy and decided to finally step up to the plate and be a man.
Thursday night around 12 am, I got a text. A request to come over.
1:05 am, I walked up the stairs to his front door.
2:00 am, over a year's worth of anticipation and build-up FINALLY, finally was satisfied.
It was weird. And I was nervous. Really nervous. There's not a chance in hell that my skills in bed were fully displayed, as my mind was going about 100 miles an hour and I couldn't so much as moan without thinking about it first. And the thing that makes me really great in bed, is my ability to get totally lost in the moment. This did not happen.
Lines were drawn. Very clearly drawn. This was a booty call. I got that LOUD and CLEAR.
The weekend was full of good things. A trip to DC with Karen to visit my sister who was in town for the weekend, boys at a rental car office who liked us so much they upgraded us all the way to a Jeep, a shopping expedition which resulted in My Greatest Find Ever- a pair of black, suede, peep-toe, mary-jane strap, 4-inch Kate Spade heels for $80 and cheesecake in a hotel with the best friend I've ever had- but my mind was always only half on the events at hand. The other half was always lost.
Lost in his hands- roving all over while I was on top, his mouth- whispering dirty things in my ear from behind, and his eyes- locking on mine, in the moment where we changed everything forever.
Then I remember how we fell asleep as far apart on the bed as people can, even though he'd asked me to stay. And the next morning, how as I'd left, I'd woken him up to ask him if he needed the alarm reset and he'd barely even acknowledged me.
And how, as I rode home in a cab, all I felt was relief, and disappointment.
My night of 1000 fantasies was anything but.
Today's Title from: Say Goodbye by Dave Matthews Band
I still don't know if I'm ready to talk about it.
Marc must have sensed that I was maligning him and calling him a pussy and decided to finally step up to the plate and be a man.
Thursday night around 12 am, I got a text. A request to come over.
1:05 am, I walked up the stairs to his front door.
2:00 am, over a year's worth of anticipation and build-up FINALLY, finally was satisfied.
It was weird. And I was nervous. Really nervous. There's not a chance in hell that my skills in bed were fully displayed, as my mind was going about 100 miles an hour and I couldn't so much as moan without thinking about it first. And the thing that makes me really great in bed, is my ability to get totally lost in the moment. This did not happen.
Lines were drawn. Very clearly drawn. This was a booty call. I got that LOUD and CLEAR.
The weekend was full of good things. A trip to DC with Karen to visit my sister who was in town for the weekend, boys at a rental car office who liked us so much they upgraded us all the way to a Jeep, a shopping expedition which resulted in My Greatest Find Ever- a pair of black, suede, peep-toe, mary-jane strap, 4-inch Kate Spade heels for $80 and cheesecake in a hotel with the best friend I've ever had- but my mind was always only half on the events at hand. The other half was always lost.
Lost in his hands- roving all over while I was on top, his mouth- whispering dirty things in my ear from behind, and his eyes- locking on mine, in the moment where we changed everything forever.
Then I remember how we fell asleep as far apart on the bed as people can, even though he'd asked me to stay. And the next morning, how as I'd left, I'd woken him up to ask him if he needed the alarm reset and he'd barely even acknowledged me.
And how, as I rode home in a cab, all I felt was relief, and disappointment.
My night of 1000 fantasies was anything but.
Today's Title from: Say Goodbye by Dave Matthews Band
Labels: Marc
