Friday, February 02, 2007
I know you have a little life in you yet
I got my tax refund this morning! Which adds two more things to the List of Things that I Love Fanatically (#1 on that list is Doritos)
-Turbo Tax Online
-Direct Deposit
There is an episode of Seinfeld where George keeps trying to break up with this girl that he's dating, and she keeps refusing to allow it. (Non-sequitor here: I have a theory that almost every situation in life has a corresponding Seinfeld episode. I'm just sayin'.) It's an absolutely hilarious episode, and I feel like I am currently living it.
Since Cam and I broke up over instant messenger, I know- not exactly smooth, but it's just how it happened, I was glad the for 'One Last Night' because it would give me a chance to say goodbye. To see him and get to be close to him one last time. I know he was aware of the gravity of the situation, as everything was a little different last night. We didn't talk much, and just laid in each other's arms for a long, long time. Even the sex was different. Better. More emotionally charged. A bit of a feeling of desperation to it.
Once we fell asleep, I dreamed about Cam. I dreamed that we were fighting a lot and breaking up. I dreamed about finding him with other women. Then I would wake up, in his arms, and for a minute be reassured that everything was okay. Then I would remember. This was our swan song. I went through this cycle over and over again throughout the night.
This morning. I was the first to get up as he stayed in bed. As I picked up my purse and buttoned my coat, he reached his arms out and pulled me down next to him.
Cam: When am I going to see you again?
Pause....
Me: You're not.
Cam: What? (as if I had just told him that there would never be another Christmas)
Me: Uh, I thought we had agreed....
Cam: We'll talk later.
Me: Uhmmmm (my non-committal-I-think-you-might-be-nuts noise)
I leaned down and kissed him.
Me: Goodbye
I expected to cry the entire cab ride home.
Not a tear.
Instead I felt numb. Drained. Exhausted. Defeated.
Tired.
Today's Title from: This Woman's Work by Kate Bush
-Turbo Tax Online
-Direct Deposit
There is an episode of Seinfeld where George keeps trying to break up with this girl that he's dating, and she keeps refusing to allow it. (Non-sequitor here: I have a theory that almost every situation in life has a corresponding Seinfeld episode. I'm just sayin'.) It's an absolutely hilarious episode, and I feel like I am currently living it.
Since Cam and I broke up over instant messenger, I know- not exactly smooth, but it's just how it happened, I was glad the for 'One Last Night' because it would give me a chance to say goodbye. To see him and get to be close to him one last time. I know he was aware of the gravity of the situation, as everything was a little different last night. We didn't talk much, and just laid in each other's arms for a long, long time. Even the sex was different. Better. More emotionally charged. A bit of a feeling of desperation to it.
Once we fell asleep, I dreamed about Cam. I dreamed that we were fighting a lot and breaking up. I dreamed about finding him with other women. Then I would wake up, in his arms, and for a minute be reassured that everything was okay. Then I would remember. This was our swan song. I went through this cycle over and over again throughout the night.
This morning. I was the first to get up as he stayed in bed. As I picked up my purse and buttoned my coat, he reached his arms out and pulled me down next to him.
Cam: When am I going to see you again?
Pause....
Me: You're not.
Cam: What? (as if I had just told him that there would never be another Christmas)
Me: Uh, I thought we had agreed....
Cam: We'll talk later.
Me: Uhmmmm (my non-committal-I-think-you-might-be-nuts noise)
I leaned down and kissed him.
Me: Goodbye
I expected to cry the entire cab ride home.
Not a tear.
Instead I felt numb. Drained. Exhausted. Defeated.
Tired.
Today's Title from: This Woman's Work by Kate Bush
Labels: Cam
