Monday, November 06, 2006
Hello there, the angel from my nightmare
I miss Scott.
It's been harder than I thought it would be. I figured, that since I know in my head all of the reasons why he is not good for me, that walking away would be easy.
Wrong again.
This last weekend was supposed to be OUR weekend. I was going to arrive on Friday night and not leave until I had to go to work this morning. In my moments of weakness, I fantasized about how great this weekend could have been, knowing his ability to be so great in the moment. I imagined a lot of laughter, a lot of comfort, the security in sleeping in his arms for 3 nights in a row, and a whole lot of sex.
It took every ounce of willpower that I possess to not call him last night. I don't even know why I wanted to call him. I didn't have any good reason at all.
I just have to keep reminding myself that someone else will slow-dance me around the living room and mean it to the depths of their heart.
P.S. As of yesterday- I have officially lost 22 pounds in the last month and a half.
It's been harder than I thought it would be. I figured, that since I know in my head all of the reasons why he is not good for me, that walking away would be easy.
Wrong again.
This last weekend was supposed to be OUR weekend. I was going to arrive on Friday night and not leave until I had to go to work this morning. In my moments of weakness, I fantasized about how great this weekend could have been, knowing his ability to be so great in the moment. I imagined a lot of laughter, a lot of comfort, the security in sleeping in his arms for 3 nights in a row, and a whole lot of sex.
It took every ounce of willpower that I possess to not call him last night. I don't even know why I wanted to call him. I didn't have any good reason at all.
I just have to keep reminding myself that someone else will slow-dance me around the living room and mean it to the depths of their heart.
P.S. As of yesterday- I have officially lost 22 pounds in the last month and a half.
Labels: Scott
