Friday, October 13, 2006
Maybe we'll live and learn, Maybe we'll crash and burn
As I walked to the subway from Scott's house this morning, a few tears trickled down my cheek (which, incidentally was not enough of a deterrent to stop several men from wishing me a very good morning. Gotta love Queens!). It may have been due to lack of sleep.
Or it might have been due to the sheer frustration of being in a relationship that I can't control. A relationship strung together by disappointments and achingly perfect moments. A relationship filled with passion and comfort but plagued with distrust. A relationship that has left me feeling overflowing with love and out-of-control with rage.
Perfect Moment #1
Scott: You haven't even started packing for your trip yet have you?
Me: I threw a few things in, but it's tough to pack for a trip two days in advance, because half the things I need to pack, I'm going to use between now and Saturday. Like toiletries.
Scott: Toiletries?
Me: You know- shampoo, conditioner, makeup...
Scott: You know, babe, you don't need makeup. (He leans over and kisses me) I've seen you first thing in the morning, so I have the right to say, you're perfect just the way you are.
Perfect Moment #2
We had been in his room, each wearing one ear piece on his mp3 player, him wanting me to hear a song that always reminded him of me. Then we start talking about the new Justin Timberlake song, My Love, and Scott is talking about how he made up this dance to it. So we go into the living room so he can plug the mp3 player into his stereo and show me his dance. Keep in mind, it's 2 am, and I'm just wearing a skimpy little cotton nightgown and he has on only basketball shorts. After the song by JT is over, John Legend comes on. Scott pulls me close and sings in my ear as he dances me around the room. With my head buried in his neck and his arms wrapped oh so tightly around me, I worry that for as long as I live, I will never experience a moment more heartbreaking in its flawlessness.
Perfect Moment #3
Falling asleep in his arms. Waking up in his arms. Being in his arms every moment in between. Sleeping so tightly pressed against him, I can feel his breath against my forehead.
Perfect Moment #4
As I was leaving this morning, he stumbled out of bed and walked me to the door. He kissed me and told me to call him as soon as I got to work (just like always) and as I started to walk away, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me back, nuzzling his nose in my neck and kissing me one last time with surprising intensity.
"Bye babe," he says as I walk out the door. Watching me until I'm down the stairs and out of sight.
Or it might have been due to the sheer frustration of being in a relationship that I can't control. A relationship strung together by disappointments and achingly perfect moments. A relationship filled with passion and comfort but plagued with distrust. A relationship that has left me feeling overflowing with love and out-of-control with rage.
Perfect Moment #1
Scott: You haven't even started packing for your trip yet have you?
Me: I threw a few things in, but it's tough to pack for a trip two days in advance, because half the things I need to pack, I'm going to use between now and Saturday. Like toiletries.
Scott: Toiletries?
Me: You know- shampoo, conditioner, makeup...
Scott: You know, babe, you don't need makeup. (He leans over and kisses me) I've seen you first thing in the morning, so I have the right to say, you're perfect just the way you are.
Perfect Moment #2
We had been in his room, each wearing one ear piece on his mp3 player, him wanting me to hear a song that always reminded him of me. Then we start talking about the new Justin Timberlake song, My Love, and Scott is talking about how he made up this dance to it. So we go into the living room so he can plug the mp3 player into his stereo and show me his dance. Keep in mind, it's 2 am, and I'm just wearing a skimpy little cotton nightgown and he has on only basketball shorts. After the song by JT is over, John Legend comes on. Scott pulls me close and sings in my ear as he dances me around the room. With my head buried in his neck and his arms wrapped oh so tightly around me, I worry that for as long as I live, I will never experience a moment more heartbreaking in its flawlessness.
Perfect Moment #3
Falling asleep in his arms. Waking up in his arms. Being in his arms every moment in between. Sleeping so tightly pressed against him, I can feel his breath against my forehead.
Perfect Moment #4
As I was leaving this morning, he stumbled out of bed and walked me to the door. He kissed me and told me to call him as soon as I got to work (just like always) and as I started to walk away, he grabbed my wrist and pulled me back, nuzzling his nose in my neck and kissing me one last time with surprising intensity.
"Bye babe," he says as I walk out the door. Watching me until I'm down the stairs and out of sight.
Labels: Scott
Posted by Chloe
at 9:55 AM |
Permalink to Maybe we'll live and learn, Maybe we'll crash and burn |
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