The Virginity Monologues

My Life. The Mistakes I Make. Uncensored.

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow

After some ill-fated communication last night that reminded me of all the reasons why its never going to work with Scott, I just wrote and sent the following email:

Hey babe.

I don't think we should see each other anymore.

Why? Well, I'm sure that you don't really care, but because I'm a big fan of honesty, I'm gonna tell you.

I tried, Scott, I really, really tried to keep myself detached and my emotions in check. But I failed miserably. (For future refence- staying detached after being danced around the living room to John Legend is virtually impossible. Just letting you know.) The truth is- I'm falling in love with you. And it's becoming abundantly clear just how one-sided those feelings are. I can't and I don't want to deal with it anymore. I can only handle so much of your indifference.

Please, please believe me when I say that I don't want to hear from you anymore.

Thank you for some of the most perfect moments I have ever experienced.

Love-
Chloe

Things I am feeling:
Unbelievable relief- it's over and he can't hurt me anymore.
Unbelievable sadness- I've lost something that was occasionally pretty damn amazing.

But I'll never trust him, and he'll never be the man I want him to be. It's either hurt now, or hurt more later. I decided to finally be an adult and make the right fucking decision for once.

I just wish it didn't hurt so goddamn much.

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