Tuesday, October 31, 2006
I got 99 problems but a bitch ain't one
AAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!
I've got a whole lot of pent up anger and frustration right now and I'm sorry, but y'all are going to have to hear about it.
Marc- The Love of My Fucking Life Marc- is dating someone. That's right- the man that I have been patiently waiting for to grow the fuck up already and realize that I am the woman of his dreams, is dating someone.
Which means that the problem was NEVER that Marc wasn't ready, the problem was the I JUST WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH.
GOD-DAMN MOTHERFUCKING SON OF A BITCH.
Then, on Saturday night, as we arrived home, drunk off our asses, Abby starts talking to me about Email Boy, and all the truths that she's never told me before come out. She tells me that she would give anything for her boyfriend to look at her the way Email Boy looks at me when I walk into the room; that she's never seen 2 people more perfect for each other and that she's never had, with anyone what him and I have.
These things might be true. But why don't people get it?!?!? He's NEVER going to date me!!!! He only dates women who weigh 130 pounds. I will never, in my whole life, weigh 130 pounds. I will wholeheartedly acknowledge that him and I have someone special, something that you don't find every day. But, for the love of all that is holy, PLEASE do not allow me to have hope for our dating future! It's not going to happen.
Also, what's with people asking me why I don't have a boyfriend? Don't they realize that if I knew the answer to that, I could probably do something about it? Besides, who's going to admit that the reason for their lack of companionship is because they are a total and complete freak show with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. I DON'T KNOW why I don't have a boyfriend! It may be because I don't like to let people get close to me and tend to use nasty sarcasm as a defense mechanism. It may be because I'm hideously unattractive. It may be that men may not find my penchant for brutal honesty endearing. Maybe I'm too forward. Maybe I'm not forward enough. Maybe it's because I like sex too damn much and men think that I'm means I'm a dirty slut.
Whatever it is, I can't quite put my fucking finger on it, so stop fucking asking already.
Just to add to my present I-Feel-Like-the-Worlds-Biggest-Loser mood, my mom told me about the annual family camping trip scheduled for next summer last night and suggested how great it would be if I brought a boyfriend with me.
That's just fucking awesome.
I've got a whole lot of pent up anger and frustration right now and I'm sorry, but y'all are going to have to hear about it.
Marc- The Love of My Fucking Life Marc- is dating someone. That's right- the man that I have been patiently waiting for to grow the fuck up already and realize that I am the woman of his dreams, is dating someone.
Which means that the problem was NEVER that Marc wasn't ready, the problem was the I JUST WASN'T GOOD ENOUGH.
GOD-DAMN MOTHERFUCKING SON OF A BITCH.
Then, on Saturday night, as we arrived home, drunk off our asses, Abby starts talking to me about Email Boy, and all the truths that she's never told me before come out. She tells me that she would give anything for her boyfriend to look at her the way Email Boy looks at me when I walk into the room; that she's never seen 2 people more perfect for each other and that she's never had, with anyone what him and I have.
These things might be true. But why don't people get it?!?!? He's NEVER going to date me!!!! He only dates women who weigh 130 pounds. I will never, in my whole life, weigh 130 pounds. I will wholeheartedly acknowledge that him and I have someone special, something that you don't find every day. But, for the love of all that is holy, PLEASE do not allow me to have hope for our dating future! It's not going to happen.
Also, what's with people asking me why I don't have a boyfriend? Don't they realize that if I knew the answer to that, I could probably do something about it? Besides, who's going to admit that the reason for their lack of companionship is because they are a total and complete freak show with no redeeming qualities whatsoever. I DON'T KNOW why I don't have a boyfriend! It may be because I don't like to let people get close to me and tend to use nasty sarcasm as a defense mechanism. It may be because I'm hideously unattractive. It may be that men may not find my penchant for brutal honesty endearing. Maybe I'm too forward. Maybe I'm not forward enough. Maybe it's because I like sex too damn much and men think that I'm means I'm a dirty slut.
Whatever it is, I can't quite put my fucking finger on it, so stop fucking asking already.
Just to add to my present I-Feel-Like-the-Worlds-Biggest-Loser mood, my mom told me about the annual family camping trip scheduled for next summer last night and suggested how great it would be if I brought a boyfriend with me.
That's just fucking awesome.
