Thursday, August 10, 2006
Like the Corners of My Mind
Dear Marc-
I think of you all the time. I think of you everytime I hear "The Whistle Song" because of that night at your house when we spent hours messing around with your music and I laughed until I peed my pants at your "Seduce Me" playlist, which you still won't take credit for. Kanye West makes me think of you because I know how much you love his music and because of that time that I was shaking my ass to "Gold Digger" and your roommate asked me if I had learned about his music through you, which told me that you had been talking to your roommate about me. Chocolate chip cookies almost always make me wish I had some freshly baked so I could call you up and we could sit on the stoop and talk about nothing for hours, like we used to. John Madden Football reminds me of the night we played at your house and I could barely sit still at the utter excitement at just being with you.
At random times, I'll remember your hand in my hair, on my back or holding mine. I'll think back with regret about that night, when I was so scared to follow you into your house, and I chickened out and went home. I think often of how I wish I would have done that night differently. And how I cried and cried the next day about having potentially ruined everything with you. And then you called and talked about how you didn't want to ruin our friendship and I believed you.
It gives me warm fuzzies to remember how you text messaged me on Thanksgiving because you wanted to see me and called me the second you got back in town. Then came to meet me at Kevin's house, which was full of people, and you were text messaging me, even though you were just across the room.
I still have the text message that you sent to me on Christmas, where you called me "sweetheart" and I read it frequently because it makes me feel closer to you, or to what we once had anyway.
I pull these memories out from their box in my head frequently and I run my fingers over them as if they were my most cherised possessions. They put me to sleep at night and get me through rough days. I don't ever want to forget the intensity of what I felt for you, it reminds me of the abandon with which I can give my heart in times when I worry that I've got it locked up tight forever.
I've missed you these recent months. Everytime I go over to Karen's, I hope to run into you. To see your face, to refresh my fading memories. And when I run into your roommate instead, I hope that he'll tell you how hot I looked. But I understand where you are in your life and we never talked about what was going on between us, so I don't have the right to expect anything of you. I've been as lax in communicating with you as you have been with me.
But I always assumed that our friendship was still there. That I still meant something, or at least more than nothing.
I will probably always love you.
But I don't know if I like you anymore.
Sincerely-
Chloe
I think of you all the time. I think of you everytime I hear "The Whistle Song" because of that night at your house when we spent hours messing around with your music and I laughed until I peed my pants at your "Seduce Me" playlist, which you still won't take credit for. Kanye West makes me think of you because I know how much you love his music and because of that time that I was shaking my ass to "Gold Digger" and your roommate asked me if I had learned about his music through you, which told me that you had been talking to your roommate about me. Chocolate chip cookies almost always make me wish I had some freshly baked so I could call you up and we could sit on the stoop and talk about nothing for hours, like we used to. John Madden Football reminds me of the night we played at your house and I could barely sit still at the utter excitement at just being with you.
At random times, I'll remember your hand in my hair, on my back or holding mine. I'll think back with regret about that night, when I was so scared to follow you into your house, and I chickened out and went home. I think often of how I wish I would have done that night differently. And how I cried and cried the next day about having potentially ruined everything with you. And then you called and talked about how you didn't want to ruin our friendship and I believed you.
It gives me warm fuzzies to remember how you text messaged me on Thanksgiving because you wanted to see me and called me the second you got back in town. Then came to meet me at Kevin's house, which was full of people, and you were text messaging me, even though you were just across the room.
I still have the text message that you sent to me on Christmas, where you called me "sweetheart" and I read it frequently because it makes me feel closer to you, or to what we once had anyway.
I pull these memories out from their box in my head frequently and I run my fingers over them as if they were my most cherised possessions. They put me to sleep at night and get me through rough days. I don't ever want to forget the intensity of what I felt for you, it reminds me of the abandon with which I can give my heart in times when I worry that I've got it locked up tight forever.
I've missed you these recent months. Everytime I go over to Karen's, I hope to run into you. To see your face, to refresh my fading memories. And when I run into your roommate instead, I hope that he'll tell you how hot I looked. But I understand where you are in your life and we never talked about what was going on between us, so I don't have the right to expect anything of you. I've been as lax in communicating with you as you have been with me.
But I always assumed that our friendship was still there. That I still meant something, or at least more than nothing.
I will probably always love you.
But I don't know if I like you anymore.
Sincerely-
Chloe
Labels: Marc
