Thursday, March 23, 2006
Getting
So, the last couple of days have not been the best, obviously. On top of the emotional stress, I've been working an insane amount of hours and words can't accurately depict the depth of my exhaustion.
But I've been doing some thinking.
I cared about Marc. A lot. There was just something about him. I can't put it into words, I can't define it, I just wanted to be with him. I loved the way that I felt when I was with him. I wanted to cook for him, and take care of him and protect him from anything bad happening to him. But when all is said and done, I don't know that we really 'got' each other. I mean, look at how badly we've managed to muck this whole relationship up because of miscommunication. We have no ability to read each other and when we think we know what the other person is thinking, we're spectacularly wrong.
This does not bode well for any kind of future. I don't want to have to be constantly explaining myself and apologizing for things I said.
And while a romance is not in the cards for us, the barrage of communication with Email Boy has proven that he 'gets' me. We never have misunderstandings that need to be cleared up. He never takes my sarcasm the wrong way and never gets his feelings hurt. When I send him an email or a text message with a bite to it, he'll turn around, give it right back to me and make it funnier. I'd post one of phenomenally long back and forth email communicados here, but they're 90% inside jokes and explaining would take away from the hilarity.
Why can't I find someone who 'gets' me like him, who makes me laugh like him, but also has desperate need to be naked with me?
But I've been doing some thinking.
I cared about Marc. A lot. There was just something about him. I can't put it into words, I can't define it, I just wanted to be with him. I loved the way that I felt when I was with him. I wanted to cook for him, and take care of him and protect him from anything bad happening to him. But when all is said and done, I don't know that we really 'got' each other. I mean, look at how badly we've managed to muck this whole relationship up because of miscommunication. We have no ability to read each other and when we think we know what the other person is thinking, we're spectacularly wrong.
This does not bode well for any kind of future. I don't want to have to be constantly explaining myself and apologizing for things I said.
And while a romance is not in the cards for us, the barrage of communication with Email Boy has proven that he 'gets' me. We never have misunderstandings that need to be cleared up. He never takes my sarcasm the wrong way and never gets his feelings hurt. When I send him an email or a text message with a bite to it, he'll turn around, give it right back to me and make it funnier. I'd post one of phenomenally long back and forth email communicados here, but they're 90% inside jokes and explaining would take away from the hilarity.
Why can't I find someone who 'gets' me like him, who makes me laugh like him, but also has desperate need to be naked with me?
Labels: Marc
