Friday, February 03, 2006
Insignificant
Do you ever get tired of holding it together?
I did, last night.
I found out some information about Mr. Wrong yesterday that upset me. About people he was sleeping with the entire time that he'd been sleeping with me, who I am acquainted with. I had that moment of clarity where you realize exactly what a gigantic fool you've been. All the lies that I told myself for so long- I was special, I was different, etc, etc, came crashing down on my head, making me acutely aware of my own insignificance.
Then I went to the gym where the scale showed me that all of my insanely hard work is not paying off like I want it to.
I'm fucking sick of lettuce!
So, I stopped holding it all together. I let go of the string that was holding me together so fragilely. And I silently cried the whole subway ride home.
Then I got up at 5:30 this morning to get to a spin class before work. One step backward? Fuck you, I'm taking two steps forward.
I did, last night.
I found out some information about Mr. Wrong yesterday that upset me. About people he was sleeping with the entire time that he'd been sleeping with me, who I am acquainted with. I had that moment of clarity where you realize exactly what a gigantic fool you've been. All the lies that I told myself for so long- I was special, I was different, etc, etc, came crashing down on my head, making me acutely aware of my own insignificance.
Then I went to the gym where the scale showed me that all of my insanely hard work is not paying off like I want it to.
I'm fucking sick of lettuce!
So, I stopped holding it all together. I let go of the string that was holding me together so fragilely. And I silently cried the whole subway ride home.
Then I got up at 5:30 this morning to get to a spin class before work. One step backward? Fuck you, I'm taking two steps forward.
Labels: Mr. Wrong
