Thursday, October 06, 2005
Never The Same Again
On Sunday, a friend walked up to me and called me by my best friend/ex best friend's name.
"Um, my name is Chloe, " I said.
"Yes, but it's like you're the same person," another friend said, "so it's an understandable mistake!"
Clearly, I have not been telling anyone about The Break Up. It will make some people very upset. We were a dynamic duo, entertaining people at dinners and parties with our banter and wit. We were often told that we should have our own TV show.
We are on semi-speaking terms. There are brief emails that go back and forth.
But I'm very conflicted about the whole scenario. I'm not angry, or bitter, or even sad anymore. I'm just.... conflicted. In her email she said that she hopes that we can be great friends again. Except, I don't intend to ever allow that. Once a person has taken their friendship away from me, how can they ever be trusted not to do it again? I will always wonder and worry and walk on eggshells for fear that she will again decide that she can't talk to me anymore. What kind of a friendship is that? With a real and true friend, a person should never have to worry about losing their friendship (unless they've been doing something really heinous, obviously). Friendship implies being there for someone- NO MATTER WHAT.
What kind of a friend violates that? Especially a best friend?
Give her the opportunity to do it again? I don't think so.
"Um, my name is Chloe, " I said.
"Yes, but it's like you're the same person," another friend said, "so it's an understandable mistake!"
Clearly, I have not been telling anyone about The Break Up. It will make some people very upset. We were a dynamic duo, entertaining people at dinners and parties with our banter and wit. We were often told that we should have our own TV show.
We are on semi-speaking terms. There are brief emails that go back and forth.
But I'm very conflicted about the whole scenario. I'm not angry, or bitter, or even sad anymore. I'm just.... conflicted. In her email she said that she hopes that we can be great friends again. Except, I don't intend to ever allow that. Once a person has taken their friendship away from me, how can they ever be trusted not to do it again? I will always wonder and worry and walk on eggshells for fear that she will again decide that she can't talk to me anymore. What kind of a friendship is that? With a real and true friend, a person should never have to worry about losing their friendship (unless they've been doing something really heinous, obviously). Friendship implies being there for someone- NO MATTER WHAT.
What kind of a friend violates that? Especially a best friend?
Give her the opportunity to do it again? I don't think so.
