Monday, September 26, 2005
Paradise Lost
In the time it takes to write an email, She dissolved our friendship. She doesn't want to talk to me anymore. She doesn't want to be around people with 'inappropriate behavior'. My actions are causing her pain, therefore she needs to remove herself from the situation.
I want to hate her. I want to cause her as much pain as I've been experiencing. I want her to wake up at 4 am, racking her brain, trying to think of ways to rectify the situation. But really, I just miss her. I miss our easy banter and that when I'm around her, it just feels like home.
I've been so selfish, so self-indulgent. It's always about me. But how do you help to repair the cracks in a person that with every breath appears uncrackable? How do you offer a comforting embrace to a person who wants nothing more than to be perceived as rock solid? I played my role, she played hers.
I would have done anything for her.
All she had to do was ask.
I want to hate her. I want to cause her as much pain as I've been experiencing. I want her to wake up at 4 am, racking her brain, trying to think of ways to rectify the situation. But really, I just miss her. I miss our easy banter and that when I'm around her, it just feels like home.
I've been so selfish, so self-indulgent. It's always about me. But how do you help to repair the cracks in a person that with every breath appears uncrackable? How do you offer a comforting embrace to a person who wants nothing more than to be perceived as rock solid? I played my role, she played hers.
I would have done anything for her.
All she had to do was ask.
