Wednesday, September 21, 2005
What if...
I've always had a philosophy- that every pot has a lid. I've seen the weirdest, most idiosyncratic people get married, and marveled at people's ability to find those people who are so perfectly suited to them. I never contemplated the possibility that my pot might not have a lid.
Surely, he must exist, right? That smart, funny and sincere individual that makes my heart soar?
What if he doesn't?
My friends have been baffled about my relationship with Mr. Wrong. They don't understand why I keep going back to him (not lately). How do I explain to them the heroin that is having someone want to be with you, when no one else ever does? Why do I take the scraps of affection that I get from him? Because I'm afraid I'm never going to get it from anyone else.
They tell me constantly that I deserve better, yada, yada, yada.
What if I don't?
What if he's the best I can ever get?
Through a third party (I'm a chicken, I know) offered an extra ticket to a Yankee game to the wonderful individual that I interacted with on Sunday night. He can't go. I immediately assume that this means that he would rather eat dirt than hang out with me. I have no idea what it really means, when I'm allowing myself to be rational about it. Maybe he has plans. Maybe he has to work. The possibilities are endless.
What if he really likes me?
What if he doesn't?
Surely, he must exist, right? That smart, funny and sincere individual that makes my heart soar?
What if he doesn't?
My friends have been baffled about my relationship with Mr. Wrong. They don't understand why I keep going back to him (not lately). How do I explain to them the heroin that is having someone want to be with you, when no one else ever does? Why do I take the scraps of affection that I get from him? Because I'm afraid I'm never going to get it from anyone else.
They tell me constantly that I deserve better, yada, yada, yada.
What if I don't?
What if he's the best I can ever get?
Through a third party (I'm a chicken, I know) offered an extra ticket to a Yankee game to the wonderful individual that I interacted with on Sunday night. He can't go. I immediately assume that this means that he would rather eat dirt than hang out with me. I have no idea what it really means, when I'm allowing myself to be rational about it. Maybe he has plans. Maybe he has to work. The possibilities are endless.
What if he really likes me?
What if he doesn't?
