Wednesday, September 14, 2005
Can I do It?
So, pretty much everyone that I know is pushing for some good ol' fashioned sex with Email Boy. Some have even made me promise to give serious details- should the blessed event ever occur. But I have to be honest. I doubt my ability to make this happen. For a couple of reasons- and I fully recognize that the given reasons are heavily steeped in my own insecurities.
1. Our relationship is already fairly established. We reached 'Friend' zone ages ago, and I don't know that it's possible to break out of it.
2. I've mentioned that I'm curvy, yes? (Imagine an hourglass, or as another friend put it, a coke bottle). Email Boy is white (gasp of horror!). White boys don't like my curves, unless they've been drinking heavily. There is a very real possibility that no amount of cleavage and double entendre could make him sleep with me, if he's not at all attracted to me.
3. I'm crazy about him. And have been for almost 2 years. This equals a severe degree of nervousness. I can flirt, but my ability to be bold will be seriously hindered by my fear of rejection and it will be difficult for me to make it clear what I am interested in. Unless I have been drinking heavily.
Somebody help me get out of my head. I'm making myself crazy.
Tonight is test night for me. A gathering. Mr. Wrong will be there. I told my best friend that if I sleep with him again, I have to give her my iPod. I will resist. I will resist.
1. Our relationship is already fairly established. We reached 'Friend' zone ages ago, and I don't know that it's possible to break out of it.
2. I've mentioned that I'm curvy, yes? (Imagine an hourglass, or as another friend put it, a coke bottle). Email Boy is white (gasp of horror!). White boys don't like my curves, unless they've been drinking heavily. There is a very real possibility that no amount of cleavage and double entendre could make him sleep with me, if he's not at all attracted to me.
3. I'm crazy about him. And have been for almost 2 years. This equals a severe degree of nervousness. I can flirt, but my ability to be bold will be seriously hindered by my fear of rejection and it will be difficult for me to make it clear what I am interested in. Unless I have been drinking heavily.
Somebody help me get out of my head. I'm making myself crazy.
Tonight is test night for me. A gathering. Mr. Wrong will be there. I told my best friend that if I sleep with him again, I have to give her my iPod. I will resist. I will resist.
Labels: Email Boy
