Monday, September 19, 2005
Hoping.....
The problem with me, is that I take something like last night- new and unexpected flirting, and run with it. A simple touch of a hand, and I'm smitten. He was smart. And funny. And kind. I can't stop myself from hoping. I try to be pessimistic and cynical. But my heart just refuses. My heart says- a cute boy is showing interest! It's a match made in heaven! How do I make him realize that I'm the woman of his dreams?!
I tell my friends that I want honesty. I want them to tell me what they really think. Is he really interested? What I really want them to tell me is that they see a big, white wedding in our future. And that I will look beautiful in Vera Wang with my hair up.
I'm tired of this crap. I'm tired of playing games and trying to guess whether a boy likes me or not. I want someone to sleep next to at night. I want to get my hopes up. I want to love without abandon.
I just don't think I can.
I tell my friends that I want honesty. I want them to tell me what they really think. Is he really interested? What I really want them to tell me is that they see a big, white wedding in our future. And that I will look beautiful in Vera Wang with my hair up.
I'm tired of this crap. I'm tired of playing games and trying to guess whether a boy likes me or not. I want someone to sleep next to at night. I want to get my hopes up. I want to love without abandon.
I just don't think I can.
Labels: Marc
