The Virginity Monologues

My Life. The Mistakes I Make. Uncensored.

Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Growing Up

So. I used to really like Grape Nuts. Until I started eating them everyday. Now, I want them to die a slow and painful death.

Last night, I was ranting to my roommates about the unfairness of the world. About how a situation completely beyond my control has just fucked me over financially. About how I can't get a respectable man to give me the time of day, but the non-respectable men will talk to me until they're blue in the face. I'm sorry, but if you're picking me up on the street, or McDonald's, you're not what I'm looking for! About no matter how much I run and work out, the scale continues to thwart me at every turn. I'm usually an extremely happy person. But I can't shake the current grumpiness. Running almost always makes me feel better. Last night it just gave me a headache.

Do you ever feel like you're at a crossroads? You're at a place where you can continue on, as you are, making stupid decisions and letting the basest desires be the deciding factor in your actions. Or, you can grow up. Be an adult. Make the choice to not sleep with someone because he's an asshole, despite his amazing body. I keep asking myself, do I really want to deny myself things that I really want, just because it's the more adult decision? Yes. Because, inevitably, I will hurt and being an adult recognizes this and heads off the hurt in advance by just not being stupid.