The Virginity Monologues

Okay, a sign that the gym crush has gotten a little out of hand, is when I rearrange my whole life and beg my roommate to be home to let our new roommate in, just so that I can go to the gym. I haven't seen him since the fleeting glance last Thursday and this week is booked horribly solid, so tonight is the only night that I'll be there, as I'll have to go in the mornings the rest of the week. My off-limits mail room boy has been flirty with me today and I need Gym Boy to take my mind off all things Postally-clandestine; like nakedness in utility closets and such (postally, as in mail.... oh fuck it, nevermind).

Oh god, I need to get laid.