The Virginity Monologues

My Life. The Mistakes I Make. Uncensored.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

Some off-key singing

I was at a bar (a karoake bar, nonetheless) with some friends a few weeks ago. I wasn't looking to pick up on guys. I just wanted to have a good time with my girls. But, the problem with being me, is that even when not even attempting it, flirting with strange men happens. Always. I should just accept that this is inevitable, and embrace it. Or at least make a valiant attempt to cure it. I digress. We were sitting at a table next to a table full of boys/men who continually got up and sang, badly, I might add. They jokingly would talk to us on occasion. At one point one of them needed the song number from the song book which I was flipping through, wishing that I had enough self-confidence to get up and show those people my amazing rendition of Aretha Franklin's Respect. Every time he talked to me, he would lean over and touch me on the elbow. It sent little zings every time. It was nice. Pleasant, even. After we had finished our exchange of information, he suddenly remembered some other piece of information he wished to impart with me, he leaned over, touched the elbow and said in my ear, "I don't know if this means anything, but you're very attractive." I smiled my 'I do not know how to respond' smile and said, "thanks!" This situation intrigued me. I was flattered. What made him say that to me? We didn't really have any kind of rapport going. He was cute, relatively attractive. I should have asked for his number.

Friends- I need to have sex. Desperately. I'm kind of in a Catch-22 though. I'm pretty much done waiting for marriage, that's not gonna happen. But, a guy finds our you're a mother-fucking virgin and he categorizes you a certain way. The second you give it up, it changes that, and all of a sudden you're a different person to them. How do you know that he won't ditch you the second you spread your legs? How do ensure that you're giving it to the right person? Or do I just give up the idea of the 'right person' and find someone willing, able and hard? Earlier today, me and a few of the gay executive assistants were discussing a lovely brotha in our office and I said, regarding this fine fellow, "I'd fuck him." Kids, it's true.