The Virginity Monologues

It's official- all men are dickheads. I'm considering becoming a lesbian, just so I don't have to deal with all this shit anymore. Friday night was crazy. Seriously crazy. 2 parties. First one a birthday party for my boss, so that was tame. Then, I left to go to a going away party for a friend, and it was her, me, another girl and all the a group of boys that included someone from here on out will be known as Mr. Wrong. He's hot. He's got a girlfriend. I love him, God Bless him, I do. But there is no man on earth more wrong for me. Hence, the name. Insanity. We played pool. We got outrageously drunk. There was lots of groping, including some between Off-Limits Mr. Wrong and yours truly. A friend of Mr. Wrong was also expressing some interest in me. He was beautiful and I was interested, but I was distracted by having something I had wanted for so long, finally in my sights. Alcohol makes a person forget all the reasons that you shouldn't hook up with someone, and only lets you think of the reasons that you should, ie- his amazing abs. Lordy, but having my hands on them nearly had me swooning. Anyway, we went back to my friend, Michelle's house, and Mr. Wrong had his hand on my thigh on the way over there in the cab, and then as I got out of the cab, there was a moment between us where I made it very clear that I was his for the taking, if he so desired. Inside Michelle's place, the friend was suddenly coming on stronger, and Mr. Wrong was turning into a dickhead. Then they broke out the weed, which I didn't really want to partake in, so I went into the bedroom and laid down on the bed. Even in my inebriated state, I knew that someone would follow me in there. I just didn't know who. But I decided that whoever came first- would get me. The Friend was the winner. He came in, sat down on the bed next to me, and then proceeded to rock my world and I never even took my pants off! Seriously, I am not lying when I say that was the hottest hour that I have ever spent in the entirety of my life. I get all bothered now, just thinking about it. Eventually, we had to end the shenanigans, I mean, seriously, there was like 10 people in the other room. That's making the propriety line a little fuzzy, especially when I work with some of them. So, he asked for my number and I gave it to him, knowing that I wouldn't really hear from him. I mean, come on, relationships don't begin this way. So I was surprised to get a call from him less than 24 hours later. He wanted to go out, or something, and said that he wanted to see me again, ASAP. I was surprised and a little delighted. So, I told him that I had some free time the following night and I would call him when I got home. I called him at 6:30 last night. Left a message. Casual and breezy. NO RETURN CALL. NONE. What a dickhead. I'm done. If he didn't want to see me, all he had to do was NOT CALL ME in the first place.

Interestingly enough, Mr. Wrong stopped by my desk this morning, acting like we're best friends. As if I hadn't thrown myself at him less than 48 hours ago and then proceeded to hook up with one of his best friends. Yeah, I don't see a friendship in our future.

Labels: Mr. Wrong