Wednesday, August 27, 2008
I've been a fool, In so many ways
'When did I stop reading?' I asked myself as I wandered the aisles at Barnes and Noble, inhaling one of my favorite smells- books and coffee. I couldn't remember the last book I had finished. I used to devour them. They used to be my escape, my haven. My first incredibly lonely 6 months in New York City were spent in the cafe at the Lincoln Center Barnes and Noble. Reading anything and everything while eating cheesecake with hot chocolate (one of the many reasons I became such an unbelievable fat ass).
I passed the Relationships section, not even pausing, as I am a complete and utter failure at relationships and don't need a book to tell me this. A title caught my eye, How to Marry a Fabulous Guy. I mentally scoffed. 'That's easy. In order to marry a fabulous guy, you have to be a fabulous girl,' I thought.
Am I a fabulous girl?
The answer is a resounding 'no'.
The motivation behind fabulous girls' actions are not validation and fear of rejection/abandonment. A fabulous girls acts out of self-respect, not desperation.
A fabulous girl would NEVER let the men back into her life who have previously treated her like complete shit.
A fabulous girl does not continually allow relationships to develop into something that is purely physical, then get upset because that's all they want from her.
A fabulous girl knows what she wants and she doesn't compromise or accomodate.
A fabulous girl recognizes the signs of a man who is interested in only sex from her and HEEDS them. For fucks sake.
I am not a fabulous girl.
Today's Title from: (Another Song) All Over Again by Justin Timberlake
I passed the Relationships section, not even pausing, as I am a complete and utter failure at relationships and don't need a book to tell me this. A title caught my eye, How to Marry a Fabulous Guy. I mentally scoffed. 'That's easy. In order to marry a fabulous guy, you have to be a fabulous girl,' I thought.
Am I a fabulous girl?
The answer is a resounding 'no'.
The motivation behind fabulous girls' actions are not validation and fear of rejection/abandonment. A fabulous girls acts out of self-respect, not desperation.
A fabulous girl would NEVER let the men back into her life who have previously treated her like complete shit.
A fabulous girl does not continually allow relationships to develop into something that is purely physical, then get upset because that's all they want from her.
A fabulous girl knows what she wants and she doesn't compromise or accomodate.
A fabulous girl recognizes the signs of a man who is interested in only sex from her and HEEDS them. For fucks sake.
I am not a fabulous girl.
Today's Title from: (Another Song) All Over Again by Justin Timberlake
