Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Live your life with arms wide open
Tonight is the beginning of a new era of my life. I have committed myself to a 3 month program/study where I can only eat the food provided to me and have to work out at least 6 times a week (3 times on my own, 3 times at the classes provided). Although it goes against everything I believe in, I have vowed to go without french fries for the entire 3 months. Incidentally, I also, at one point, vowed to go without men for the entire 3 months, but had to rescind that shortly thereafter when I realized there was no way in hell that I could stick to that. Tonight is the beginning of the program, which explains why I am, at the present moment, stuffing myself with mashed potatoes (because I LOVE potatoes and I will miss their sweet faces).
I am hoping, by the time this program is over, I will be in a good enough place to stop thinking that I only deserve scumbag men and start going after men who actually treat me with respect and decency.
And so, I present to you-
The Top Ten Reasons Why I Am/Would Be a Great Girlfriend
10. I give GREAT massages/foot rub. And feet don't freak me out, so I have no trouble giving you a foot massage at the end of a tough day. I used to do it for my best friend (that was a guy) all the time.
9. I can cook. Really well. And I love cooking for other people. Did I ever mention the dessert that I made for Marc's birthday dinner? Baked mangoes (in butter and brown sugar), tortilla triangles dipped in butter, cinnamon and sugar, then baked until crispy, served with french vanilla ice cream. Oh and I also made my world-famous chocolate chip cookies.
8. I love live sports. I, obviously, especially love baseball. But I am always happy to attend football, basketball and I really dig hockey.
7. Three words: tits and ass. I've got 'em and I know how to use 'em.
6. I'm more than just a pretty face. I've lived in Russia, I majored in Greek and Roman history, and I read everything I can get my hands on about current music/movies. I can hold fairly decent conversation and a man will never have to use small words around me. I can talk serious stuff, but I can also probably outquote anyone on So I Married an Axe Murderer (Head! Pants! Now!).
5. I don't need to spend every waking minute with you. I'm extremely independent and my own personal space is very important to me. I don't want to see you everyday. I won't call you 500 times a day when we're apart. That's not my style.
4. I LOVE sex. LOVE IT! If you're dating me, guaranteed you're going to be gettin' it A LOT. And I'm absolutely all about keeping it interesting and making sure you're completely satisfied.
3. I'm a high maintenance and low maintenance type of girl. I take care of myself- I do the hair cuts and the highlighting, the mani/pedi's, and I'm very into fashion. However- I can be completely ready (shower and hair included) in 30 minutes or less. I don't have to be perfectly made up every time I step out the door. I am completely comfortable in worn jeans and no makeup, but I can also make you proud to have my on your arm at any event.
2. I have a fabulous sense of humor. When I'm in My Groove, I am a One-Woman Entertaining Machine. I absolutely love to laugh and to be able to find the humor in any situation.
1. I will love you with my whole heart and soul. And I believe in really fighting for the things worth fighting for. I don't give up. I don't bail. I don't look for reasons to get out. Once I choose to give you my heart, its yours.
I am hoping, by the time this program is over, I will be in a good enough place to stop thinking that I only deserve scumbag men and start going after men who actually treat me with respect and decency.
And so, I present to you-
The Top Ten Reasons Why I Am/Would Be a Great Girlfriend
10. I give GREAT massages/foot rub. And feet don't freak me out, so I have no trouble giving you a foot massage at the end of a tough day. I used to do it for my best friend (that was a guy) all the time.
9. I can cook. Really well. And I love cooking for other people. Did I ever mention the dessert that I made for Marc's birthday dinner? Baked mangoes (in butter and brown sugar), tortilla triangles dipped in butter, cinnamon and sugar, then baked until crispy, served with french vanilla ice cream. Oh and I also made my world-famous chocolate chip cookies.
8. I love live sports. I, obviously, especially love baseball. But I am always happy to attend football, basketball and I really dig hockey.
7. Three words: tits and ass. I've got 'em and I know how to use 'em.
6. I'm more than just a pretty face. I've lived in Russia, I majored in Greek and Roman history, and I read everything I can get my hands on about current music/movies. I can hold fairly decent conversation and a man will never have to use small words around me. I can talk serious stuff, but I can also probably outquote anyone on So I Married an Axe Murderer (Head! Pants! Now!).
5. I don't need to spend every waking minute with you. I'm extremely independent and my own personal space is very important to me. I don't want to see you everyday. I won't call you 500 times a day when we're apart. That's not my style.
4. I LOVE sex. LOVE IT! If you're dating me, guaranteed you're going to be gettin' it A LOT. And I'm absolutely all about keeping it interesting and making sure you're completely satisfied.
3. I'm a high maintenance and low maintenance type of girl. I take care of myself- I do the hair cuts and the highlighting, the mani/pedi's, and I'm very into fashion. However- I can be completely ready (shower and hair included) in 30 minutes or less. I don't have to be perfectly made up every time I step out the door. I am completely comfortable in worn jeans and no makeup, but I can also make you proud to have my on your arm at any event.
2. I have a fabulous sense of humor. When I'm in My Groove, I am a One-Woman Entertaining Machine. I absolutely love to laugh and to be able to find the humor in any situation.
1. I will love you with my whole heart and soul. And I believe in really fighting for the things worth fighting for. I don't give up. I don't bail. I don't look for reasons to get out. Once I choose to give you my heart, its yours.
