Monday, September 11, 2006
I Hate Myself for Loving You
I don't know that I've ever been more glad to see the end of a weekend.
Friday afternoon, I took the afternoon off work to decorate for Kevin's birthday party at the bar he had rented out for the evening. Karen and I spent all afternoon running around, gathering supplies and dancing to the songs coming from the jukebox. I had just barely enough time to run home, get changed and run back to the restaurant where we were having dinner. I was feeling okay about my ability to deal with the Marc Situation considering that Scott had called me the day before and wanted me to come over that night (choosing Friday specifically, so I didn't have to leave to go to work early the next morning). Scott could not have chosen a better time to want to see me.
Dinner was still tortuous. Marc seated himself directly to the side of me and spent the entire dinner harrassing me in some way. He ran his fingers through my hair, commenting on my hair cut (VERY few people noticed). At one point, he leaned over, wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me close, nuzzling my cheek and neck with his nose. Later he asked me how my food was multiple times and when I told him that he had already asked me that, he responded that he had just wanted to talk to me again. It was very apparent that this man still wants me.
After dinner, we moved to the bar a few blocks away. Marc didn't show up and I stayed about an hour dancing and drinking before leaving for Scott's house. I heard that Marc showed up shortly after I left, and asked where I was. When Karen informed him that I 'had other things to do', he asked her if I had left to go hook up with another guy and she just shrugged off the question, leaving it open. Apparently, he didn't stay long.
Scott was an absolute god-send that night. When I got there, he sat me down and took off my shoes and rubbed my feet. I was tired and after commenting on my beautiful hair-cut and how gorgeous I looked, he wrapped me up in his arms and let me just lay there. I can only lay in his arms so long though, and before not too long, he was kissing me in that fabulous way that he does and then he went down on me (every time!) and I was in HEAVEN. I LOVE being with this man. I sometimes think I am here on earth JUST to experience having sex with him. Because I can't imagine that anything in life is ever going to be better than this. After we had sex, he wrapped me up in his arms again and we just laid there and talked, with him occasionally dropping kisses on my shoulder, my arms, my cheeks, my neck, and I don't know that I've ever felt safer or more comfortable with anyone. Like always, there was Round 2. And just like always, it was life-altering sex. Its hard to believe, but it gets better every time. After I had an orgasm that was so damn powerful that I'm pretty sure it altered my genetic makup, we were still going (me on top) and he pulled me down close to him and started whispering in my ear how sexy he thinks I am and all kinds of stuff that girls absolutely die to hear and before I knew it, I was coming again. I'm officially multi-orgasmic! Shortly thereafter he woke everyone in a 50 mile radius up with his climax and due to the pools of sweat we created, a shower was necessary. He scrubbed my back, I scrubbed his and I laughed as he sang to me.
We toweled off and went back into his room to FINALLY go to sleep. But then we started arguing about music and to prove something to me, he turned on his music, and then started dancing me around the room. As he held me tight, singing along to the music, his eyes staring directly into mine as we swayed to the music (both still in our towels), I don't know that I've ever felt more complete than I did in that moment. Ever.
I had to leave early-ish the next morning. Scott didn't want me to go. He wanted me to stay the whole weekend, he didn't ever want to get out of bed. But I had to bake 3 batches of cookies for the barbeque that night and make about 30-40 chicken kabobs. I was meeting Karen at 1, so as much as I was aching to stay in that bed all day long, The Birthday Barbeque had to take precedence.
After spending all day baking and skewering kabobs, I had to, again, rush home and get ready, and turn around and rush back. I was running a little late, but since it was a BBQ, I didn't think it was a big deal. As I neared Kevin's apartment building (the bbq was taking place in the courtyard), my phone dinged with a text message. It read:
Marc: Yo, where are you?
Me: I'm just pulling up in a cab. I'm right out front.
Marc: What's the hold up? Get yer ass here.
Me: I'm coming! Keep your pants on!
Why is he ordering me around? After I arrived he pulled me tightly to him to tell me how glad he was that I was there. For the rest of the evening, I made the rounds talking to people and deliberately avoiding him. Every time we talked, he sought me out and not the other way around. He left early, but I didn't even know he was gone until he sent me a text message telling me that he had eaten too many cookies (which I made) and that he had gone home. Later his roomate came up to me and asked me where Marc was. This was interesting for 2 reasons.
1. Why does his roomate assume that I know where Marc is? Shouldn't he be the one to know those things?
2. I actually knew the answer to the question and when I told Adam that Marc had gone home, he asked what I had done to him. I don't think that "Fuck off" was the answer he was looking for.
I'M SO TIRED OF THIS SHIT.
Be with me or don't be with me. End of story. STOP FUCKING WITH MY HEAD!
Friday afternoon, I took the afternoon off work to decorate for Kevin's birthday party at the bar he had rented out for the evening. Karen and I spent all afternoon running around, gathering supplies and dancing to the songs coming from the jukebox. I had just barely enough time to run home, get changed and run back to the restaurant where we were having dinner. I was feeling okay about my ability to deal with the Marc Situation considering that Scott had called me the day before and wanted me to come over that night (choosing Friday specifically, so I didn't have to leave to go to work early the next morning). Scott could not have chosen a better time to want to see me.
Dinner was still tortuous. Marc seated himself directly to the side of me and spent the entire dinner harrassing me in some way. He ran his fingers through my hair, commenting on my hair cut (VERY few people noticed). At one point, he leaned over, wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me close, nuzzling my cheek and neck with his nose. Later he asked me how my food was multiple times and when I told him that he had already asked me that, he responded that he had just wanted to talk to me again. It was very apparent that this man still wants me.
After dinner, we moved to the bar a few blocks away. Marc didn't show up and I stayed about an hour dancing and drinking before leaving for Scott's house. I heard that Marc showed up shortly after I left, and asked where I was. When Karen informed him that I 'had other things to do', he asked her if I had left to go hook up with another guy and she just shrugged off the question, leaving it open. Apparently, he didn't stay long.
Scott was an absolute god-send that night. When I got there, he sat me down and took off my shoes and rubbed my feet. I was tired and after commenting on my beautiful hair-cut and how gorgeous I looked, he wrapped me up in his arms and let me just lay there. I can only lay in his arms so long though, and before not too long, he was kissing me in that fabulous way that he does and then he went down on me (every time!) and I was in HEAVEN. I LOVE being with this man. I sometimes think I am here on earth JUST to experience having sex with him. Because I can't imagine that anything in life is ever going to be better than this. After we had sex, he wrapped me up in his arms again and we just laid there and talked, with him occasionally dropping kisses on my shoulder, my arms, my cheeks, my neck, and I don't know that I've ever felt safer or more comfortable with anyone. Like always, there was Round 2. And just like always, it was life-altering sex. Its hard to believe, but it gets better every time. After I had an orgasm that was so damn powerful that I'm pretty sure it altered my genetic makup, we were still going (me on top) and he pulled me down close to him and started whispering in my ear how sexy he thinks I am and all kinds of stuff that girls absolutely die to hear and before I knew it, I was coming again. I'm officially multi-orgasmic! Shortly thereafter he woke everyone in a 50 mile radius up with his climax and due to the pools of sweat we created, a shower was necessary. He scrubbed my back, I scrubbed his and I laughed as he sang to me.
We toweled off and went back into his room to FINALLY go to sleep. But then we started arguing about music and to prove something to me, he turned on his music, and then started dancing me around the room. As he held me tight, singing along to the music, his eyes staring directly into mine as we swayed to the music (both still in our towels), I don't know that I've ever felt more complete than I did in that moment. Ever.
I had to leave early-ish the next morning. Scott didn't want me to go. He wanted me to stay the whole weekend, he didn't ever want to get out of bed. But I had to bake 3 batches of cookies for the barbeque that night and make about 30-40 chicken kabobs. I was meeting Karen at 1, so as much as I was aching to stay in that bed all day long, The Birthday Barbeque had to take precedence.
After spending all day baking and skewering kabobs, I had to, again, rush home and get ready, and turn around and rush back. I was running a little late, but since it was a BBQ, I didn't think it was a big deal. As I neared Kevin's apartment building (the bbq was taking place in the courtyard), my phone dinged with a text message. It read:
Marc: Yo, where are you?
Me: I'm just pulling up in a cab. I'm right out front.
Marc: What's the hold up? Get yer ass here.
Me: I'm coming! Keep your pants on!
Why is he ordering me around? After I arrived he pulled me tightly to him to tell me how glad he was that I was there. For the rest of the evening, I made the rounds talking to people and deliberately avoiding him. Every time we talked, he sought me out and not the other way around. He left early, but I didn't even know he was gone until he sent me a text message telling me that he had eaten too many cookies (which I made) and that he had gone home. Later his roomate came up to me and asked me where Marc was. This was interesting for 2 reasons.
1. Why does his roomate assume that I know where Marc is? Shouldn't he be the one to know those things?
2. I actually knew the answer to the question and when I told Adam that Marc had gone home, he asked what I had done to him. I don't think that "Fuck off" was the answer he was looking for.
I'M SO TIRED OF THIS SHIT.
Be with me or don't be with me. End of story. STOP FUCKING WITH MY HEAD!
