Thursday, September 07, 2006
No one ever said it would be this hard
An Open Letter to Marc:
Do you remember when we were in your kitchen, I was at the sink doing the dishes and you came over and leaned your back up against me as you were fooling around on your phone. Remember that hip movement that I did to get you off me that left you virtually speechless?
That was only the tip of the iceberg, pal.
The things I wanted to do to you. I wanted to sit on your lap and kiss you until we both couldn't breath. I wanted to kiss along your collarbone and run my hands, endlessly over your chest and your ridiculously large arms. I wanted to never let go of your perfectly squeezable ass. I wanted to feel the weight of you on top of me, my nails digging into your back with you saying my name in my ear. Then I wanted to flip you over and show my favorite place to be, a place where you can see all the magic that these hips can work. Then I wanted to fall asleep in those arms, only to wake you up and do it all over again a few hours later.
I wanted to love you with infinite abandon.
I've known all along that we weren't in the same place. I haven't ever slept with you because I've been hoping that you would eventually see me as more than just a girl to nail, that I would be enough for you to not want to sleep around anymore.
Kevin (your good friend and mine) had a little talk with me last night. He called me a big dummy and told me to start reading the writing on the wall. You aren't going to come around anytime soon. Your playing days have just begun and I will never be more than ass to you.
I always knew this. Coming from Kevin made it that much more real and practically tangible.
I know that you want to fuck me. But I also know that I'm in control. I choose whether or not it happens. And IF it ever does, and that's a big if, it will be on MY terms. Not yours.
It's Kevin's big birthday party this weekend. Since Karen and I are his unofficial party planners and chefs for the barbeque, I will be at all the events, which means we will probably be seeing a lot of each other. I pray every day for the strength to treat you with the same indifference that you have shown me and to keep this big weekend drama-free for Kevin's sake.
Because, really, when everything is said and done, I don't want to be your friend anymore.
Sincerely,
Chloe
Do you remember when we were in your kitchen, I was at the sink doing the dishes and you came over and leaned your back up against me as you were fooling around on your phone. Remember that hip movement that I did to get you off me that left you virtually speechless?
That was only the tip of the iceberg, pal.
The things I wanted to do to you. I wanted to sit on your lap and kiss you until we both couldn't breath. I wanted to kiss along your collarbone and run my hands, endlessly over your chest and your ridiculously large arms. I wanted to never let go of your perfectly squeezable ass. I wanted to feel the weight of you on top of me, my nails digging into your back with you saying my name in my ear. Then I wanted to flip you over and show my favorite place to be, a place where you can see all the magic that these hips can work. Then I wanted to fall asleep in those arms, only to wake you up and do it all over again a few hours later.
I wanted to love you with infinite abandon.
I've known all along that we weren't in the same place. I haven't ever slept with you because I've been hoping that you would eventually see me as more than just a girl to nail, that I would be enough for you to not want to sleep around anymore.
Kevin (your good friend and mine) had a little talk with me last night. He called me a big dummy and told me to start reading the writing on the wall. You aren't going to come around anytime soon. Your playing days have just begun and I will never be more than ass to you.
I always knew this. Coming from Kevin made it that much more real and practically tangible.
I know that you want to fuck me. But I also know that I'm in control. I choose whether or not it happens. And IF it ever does, and that's a big if, it will be on MY terms. Not yours.
It's Kevin's big birthday party this weekend. Since Karen and I are his unofficial party planners and chefs for the barbeque, I will be at all the events, which means we will probably be seeing a lot of each other. I pray every day for the strength to treat you with the same indifference that you have shown me and to keep this big weekend drama-free for Kevin's sake.
Because, really, when everything is said and done, I don't want to be your friend anymore.
Sincerely,
Chloe
Labels: Marc
