The Virginity Monologues

Scott's gone. I never responded to the text message that he sent to me after our missed date, and I haven't heard from him again. I'm not sad. I'm not upset anymore. I learned some horrible lessons and I cried a lot. But I'm smarter because of it. And maybe a little harder and jaded. Things I didn't ever want to be.

I've been thinking a lot about that ridiculous phrase that people throw around- 'Love like you've never been hurt.' What the fuck is that all about? How does anybody do that?

Even though Scott is gone, the scars linger. I've been on a few dates with a new guy, Mike (where do I meet all of these guys?). He's great. He always does what he says he's going to do, and if something happens, he lets me know immediately and we reschedule and he apologizes profusely. He calls me to give me updates when we're not sure if plans will pan out or not. He calls when he says he'll call. He's great. And he adores me (shocker! I know).

But because of Scott, I find myself unable to trust Mike. Even though he hasn't given me any reason to think so, as I was waiting for him to arrive at the movies last Friday, I found myself thinking that he wasn't going to show. I didn't believe he would follow through. I don't trust him. And it's not fair to him. He's being punished for the sins of Scott the Asshole. He's on parole for crimes he didn't commit.

How do we recover? How do we ever let hope back in?

Labels: Scott