Monday, February 13, 2006
Foot Loose and Fancy Free
I used to be the girl who was never in a relationship, but always wanted to be in a relationship. Valentine's Day was just another day reminding me of just how unlovable I was. I was desperate for a boyfriend.
Things are different now. Before I wanted to be in a relationship because I wanted to get married so that I could have sex. Now that I'm no longer staring the barrel of dying a virgin, I'm not so sure I'm a relationship type of girl. I've been examining my true feelings regarding relationships lately and made an interesting discovery- I like being single. I like not ever having to answer to anyone about where I've been or who I've been with. I like being able to do whatever I want to do every night of my life, without ever having to factor in anybody else's schedule. I like the promise of being able to meet anyone and wonder what the future could hold for us.
I may feel that way, because I currently don't feel strongly enough about anyone to want to be with them, save one and he is not relationship material. If I could re-mold Mr. Wrong into the kind of man that I want him to be, and get rid of all of his supremely distasteful characteristics- cheating, lying, being a player, lazy good-for-nothing, crazy partying and drinking- I would want to be with him. I would want to wake up next to him every morning. I would do anything to be in a relationship with that person.
But he's not that person.
And so, I'll remain single, but I will be happy that way.
Things are different now. Before I wanted to be in a relationship because I wanted to get married so that I could have sex. Now that I'm no longer staring the barrel of dying a virgin, I'm not so sure I'm a relationship type of girl. I've been examining my true feelings regarding relationships lately and made an interesting discovery- I like being single. I like not ever having to answer to anyone about where I've been or who I've been with. I like being able to do whatever I want to do every night of my life, without ever having to factor in anybody else's schedule. I like the promise of being able to meet anyone and wonder what the future could hold for us.
I may feel that way, because I currently don't feel strongly enough about anyone to want to be with them, save one and he is not relationship material. If I could re-mold Mr. Wrong into the kind of man that I want him to be, and get rid of all of his supremely distasteful characteristics- cheating, lying, being a player, lazy good-for-nothing, crazy partying and drinking- I would want to be with him. I would want to wake up next to him every morning. I would do anything to be in a relationship with that person.
But he's not that person.
And so, I'll remain single, but I will be happy that way.
