The Virginity Monologues

I'm having a pity party for myself. You're all invited!!! I'm sick. I'm tired. I went to a Yankee's game last night and they lost. Crap is happening to my brother, and I feel responsible. I am going to die alone and still a virgin because I will never get men to stop rejecting me.

Phew. I feel better already. Now if I could just get the swelling in my tonsils to go down.