Tuesday, May 31, 2005
L-O-V-E
Mr. Wrong is still on vacation. I need to see him. I can't explain why. It doesn't even make sense to me. Another work Friend invited me to go to the Dominican Republic with him for the weekend. Tempting.....
As a whole though, I've decided to stop being a slut. I'm purposely putting myself into situations that are based purely on physical, just so I don't have to put my heart on the line. I'm tired of this and I'm not built for the casual sex scene. I can't do it. The truth is, I want to fall in love. I want someone in my life that I can call when my power's been out for 4 days and I can't get it back on and I just need to cry. I want to sleep, encased in someone's arms. I don't want to be a booty call. I don't want to be a good-time girl. I want to be the girl that someone can't wait to see, that someone thinks about and gets a huge grin on their face. I want to do nice things for someone else and talk to them before I go to sleep at night about the inane things of my life and theirs. I want to make dinner for someone, and meet him at the door- scantily clad. I want the feeling that comes from kissing someone I love. I want someone's hand on my thigh, and not just as a sexual gesture, but as a I-love-you-so-much-I-can't-sit-next-to-you-and-not-touch-you gesture.
As a whole though, I've decided to stop being a slut. I'm purposely putting myself into situations that are based purely on physical, just so I don't have to put my heart on the line. I'm tired of this and I'm not built for the casual sex scene. I can't do it. The truth is, I want to fall in love. I want someone in my life that I can call when my power's been out for 4 days and I can't get it back on and I just need to cry. I want to sleep, encased in someone's arms. I don't want to be a booty call. I don't want to be a good-time girl. I want to be the girl that someone can't wait to see, that someone thinks about and gets a huge grin on their face. I want to do nice things for someone else and talk to them before I go to sleep at night about the inane things of my life and theirs. I want to make dinner for someone, and meet him at the door- scantily clad. I want the feeling that comes from kissing someone I love. I want someone's hand on my thigh, and not just as a sexual gesture, but as a I-love-you-so-much-I-can't-sit-next-to-you-and-not-touch-you gesture.
