The Virginity Monologues

My Life. The Mistakes I Make. Uncensored.

Thursday, October 19, 2006

How did it all go wrong?

I'm back from San Francisco! And I'm also suffering from some serious jet-lag.

Tonight I will be in attendance at Game 7 of the National League Championship Series. Because he is a heck of a baseball fan, I invited Marc. He initially declined, he already had plans for tonight and I did let him know very last minute. Then he called back and changed his mind. Then changed his mind again. Half an hour later, he called again. He wanted to go to the game. By the end of the 3rd phone call, he had changed his mind again and decided he couldn't go after all. As we hung up, I forbade him from calling me any more. I revoked the offer, so he would be unable to change his mind anymore.

Sheesh. He's like a fucking woman.

Scott and I spoke several times while I was out of town. He wants me to come and spend an entire weekend at his place. But, I've been so busy with various activities that it's impossible for me to give anyone that much of my time. So we scheduled it in advance for the weekend of November 4th. The possibility of this actually happening? Probably about 5%.

I also find myself in a very interesting position. I am no longer interested in sharing the very personal details of my sex life with Scott with other people. I know it sounds ridiculous and cheesy, I just want them to be moments that only the 2 of us share. I don't know if its because the moments themselves have become so personal and emotionally charged (instead of just being about physical) or because my feelings for him are changing. Either way, I'm scared out of my mind and almost assuredly am going to end up sobbing and broken-hearted.

I really look forward to that.

Labels: