Tuesday, January 03, 2006
I Loathe Resolutions
I am in a foul, foul mood today. I didn't get a lot of sleep last night due to some phone calls around 3 am that ended up with me not even getting any. The only acceptable reason to call someone that late is if you're going to rock their world. This morning, my world is decidedly UNrocked. And Jay (my unbelievably hot neighbor who is pretty phenomenal in the sack) is in the doghouse for a long time, if not permanently, and was the recipient of the meanest message I have ever left in my entire life this morning.
Of course the New Year is that lovely time of year when you get to look back and re-evaluate the year that is coming to a close. I've got a lot to evaluate.
Regrets? None.
Am I going to do things differently in the future? Absolutely.
I've learned some really tough lessons this year, the hard way.
But I learned a lot about myself in the process.
I was just talking to Randy. And really, if I'm going to start this new year off right, then I should probably just scrub my life of all the men in it. When it comes down to it, none of them are good enough for me. I should be withholding myself to only men that are deserving.
Only one catch.
The men that I think that are deserving don't want me. Never have. And beginning to think that they never will.
So here's the dilemma that I've got running through my head. Do I hold out, for it to mean something, knowing that the possibility of that happening anytime in the near future is virtually nil? I'll spend this entire year alone and sex-deprived. Or do I continue down this road of satisfying yet meaningless sex?
Ugh.
At the present moment- I hate myself.
Of course the New Year is that lovely time of year when you get to look back and re-evaluate the year that is coming to a close. I've got a lot to evaluate.
Regrets? None.
Am I going to do things differently in the future? Absolutely.
I've learned some really tough lessons this year, the hard way.
But I learned a lot about myself in the process.
I was just talking to Randy. And really, if I'm going to start this new year off right, then I should probably just scrub my life of all the men in it. When it comes down to it, none of them are good enough for me. I should be withholding myself to only men that are deserving.
Only one catch.
The men that I think that are deserving don't want me. Never have. And beginning to think that they never will.
So here's the dilemma that I've got running through my head. Do I hold out, for it to mean something, knowing that the possibility of that happening anytime in the near future is virtually nil? I'll spend this entire year alone and sex-deprived. Or do I continue down this road of satisfying yet meaningless sex?
Ugh.
At the present moment- I hate myself.
Labels: Jay
