Monday, February 16, 2009
I've given all I can, It's not enough
I got a comment- wondering what's going on, where have I been?
I'm still here. Still in the exact same place that I always have been and always will be. Alone. My taste in men may be improving, but I am still repelling them with the same expediency. I'm tired of writing about the false starts and the constant over-analysis. I want to start handling my relationships like a woman instead of a 13 year old girl.
I still run. I still work out. I still hate myself because I can't seem to get a handle on my eating. I've been battling the same 10 pounds for about 6 months now and it infuriates me endlessly. Food is winning in this battle, despite reading book after book and delving about as deep into my psyche as I can. I need something greater than myself and I'm not 100% sure where to find it.
Work has become a source of constant stress for me. Layoffs have been plentiful and although somehow managing to dodge that bullet, my workload has increased 1o times over and there is always the threat of losing my job looming over my head. I'm overwhelmed before I ever walk in the door in the morning and I hate that feeling.
How are all of you? Surviving?
Today's Title from: Karma Police by Radiohead
I'm still here. Still in the exact same place that I always have been and always will be. Alone. My taste in men may be improving, but I am still repelling them with the same expediency. I'm tired of writing about the false starts and the constant over-analysis. I want to start handling my relationships like a woman instead of a 13 year old girl.
I still run. I still work out. I still hate myself because I can't seem to get a handle on my eating. I've been battling the same 10 pounds for about 6 months now and it infuriates me endlessly. Food is winning in this battle, despite reading book after book and delving about as deep into my psyche as I can. I need something greater than myself and I'm not 100% sure where to find it.
Work has become a source of constant stress for me. Layoffs have been plentiful and although somehow managing to dodge that bullet, my workload has increased 1o times over and there is always the threat of losing my job looming over my head. I'm overwhelmed before I ever walk in the door in the morning and I hate that feeling.
How are all of you? Surviving?
Today's Title from: Karma Police by Radiohead
