The Virginity Monologues

My Life. The Mistakes I Make. Uncensored.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

It's just a moment, this time will pass

I am a girl with an emotional attachment to food.  Who, when the shit hit the fan in the Chicago airport over Christmas, I marched myself into McDonalds, got myself a McGriddle and didn't look back.  Ever since then, its been a vicious cycle of eating badly, beating myself up about eating badly, then eating to make myself feel better from beating myself up and over and over again.
To the tune of an 8 pound weight gain, which I discovered when I finally gained the courage to go back to Weight Watchers today and step on that bloody scale. 
I cried in the meeting when the Leader talked about how we need to learn to stop using food to take care of ourselves and that its not about willpower, but just about learning new skills and that beating yourself up never made anything better.  
And so, at 1 lb away from being back at a number that I wanted to avoid for the rest of my life- I've got to get my ass in gear.  I cannot give up.  It is not even an option.  And I cannot let myself gain another pound.  That is also not an option.
I would also like you all to know that I am amazing and totally loveable.  (If I say it enough, I'll believe it, right?)

Today's Title from: Stuck in a Moment by U2