The Virginity Monologues

So, again, I've started about hundreds of posts but haven't finished any of them. Mostly, because I don't know what to talk about.

Do I talk about my 8 mile run on Sunday? The best run of my life to date and how somewhere between mile 5 and 6, I hit the highest runners high I've ever hit? Mostly I was stunned that I was going to FINISH the 8 miles and I was pretty damn proud of myself for that. The problem is that I've been training- for a race that I was planning to run on Saturday. But the weather report for Saturday is VERY cold and snow. This is.... unsettling. I may not actually run the race, which is fine, since I "train" more for the sake of having a schedule to follow and not necessarily actually running the race. Eh. We'll see.

Do I talk about how, despite getting more and more comfortable in clothes that I never would have been comfortable in 40 pounds ago (i.e. leggings), all I see when I look in the mirror these days is FAT? My body image is terrible these days and all I want to do is work out endlessly to just stop the jiggle already. Except working out endlessly doesn't work well after a classes like the one I took on Saturday that was essentially a boot camp type of workout and I couldn't life my arms for days.

There's NO men to talk about, which is fine. I went on a bowling date, but never heard from him again after I continually refused to go home to Jersey with him. I met another guy at a club, but ended communication after he asked me, before ever even going on a date with him, if I "take it in the back door". WTF? It never fails to amaze me just how douchebaggy men truly can be.

Yeah, and that's about it. I'm in a weird place lately and really just want to be alone, a lot. If I could spend my entire life holed up in my room- I wouldn't complain. I figure its the holiday blues and other hormonal things. I'll be all right.

Today's Title from: Human by The Killers

Dear Weather,

Let's talk. Now, I don't mind cold weather too much. I recently bought myself a new winter coat that is, well, its stellar. And its a size that I haven't been since I thought that beating boys at wrestling would make them like me, which is totally awesome. So, the cold weather isn't killing me on a daily basis, especially since its been mid-40's for a while. And that's bearable. But weath, you may have noticed that I run OUTSIDE. And I have already invested in lots of cold weather gear for running. Special running gloves. A running fleece. A special running hat with a slot for my pony-tail to go through- those peeps at Nike sure do think of everything, don't they? But, you've forced my hand. I'm going to have to go buy some special running pants. Why? Because it's going to be 35 degrees tomorrow. UGH! You're killing me! That's brutal! And do you know how painful that is on my tender lungs?

Now, you might be thinking that I should stop whinging (yes, that extra 'g' in there is intentional. Its a word that I stole from a british friend and I love it. If you don't like it, you can suck it) and maybe do my 7 miles required for my training on the treadmill. To which I respond- can you think of anything more unendurable than 7 miles on a treadmill? That's about an hour and a half of the most boring activity ever created. Due to rain, I did 6 miles on the treadmill a few weeks ago and that fucker ran out of time on me! I had to start it over! It pissed me off. Plus, I've gotten to the point in my training where I'll need to start consuming gu. Yes, gu. It's an energy fuel to help keep athletes from bonking. Yes, bonking. It's a technical term, look it up. And when running for longer than an hour, bonking is a danger. Can you imagine me eating a gu on a treadmill? I'll look like a moron. Seriously.

So. Lets get one thing clear, okay? Warm the hell up. At least 10 degrees.

Thanks-
Chloe
______________________________________________________________

Post Run Update:

Well, I ran the 7 miles. Okay, I'll be honest, around mile 6, I walked about a quarter mile cause I wanted to die, but I figure I can say I RAN 7 miles when I ran about 95% of it.

And Weather, you weren't so bad WHILE I was running, all of my special gear made the experience pretty damn bearable and sometimes I was too hot and had to take my gloves off. Oh and gu? DELICIOUS! It felt like I was eating chocolate mousse mid-run, and suddenly I felt like I should be running in gold-plated shoes.

It was the weather POST-run that practically killed me. Part of the problem is that my clothes were soaking wet with sweat. And that it was BRUTALLY cold. By the time I walked in my front door, I was cold all the way to the bone. I had to take a shower so hot that it practically melted my skin off.

So, while running in 35 degree weather isn't too horrible, I'm still going to need you to warm up so I don't die of hypothermia while getting home. Thanks.

Today's Title from: Baby It's Cold Outside- by about a million different people

Hello, hello! I'm alive! I'm well! I've been busy!

For Thanksgiving, I went down to Atlanta with BFF and had one of the best trips of my life. We stayed with a friend who is like a brother to us, and we laughed constantly and danced and shopped and even drove to Savannah for a day, just to eat at Paula Deen's restaurant. TOTALLY worth it. It was a truly spectacular weekend.

I've got way more men in my life than a person should ever have. Quite frankly, I don't even know how I keep all of them straight. I have to be honest, I actually found a 'Jason' in my phone the other day and I have absolutely NO idea who it is. I'm not super crazy about any of them, which I'm all right with. It goes along fine with my new plan to just date more, instead of seeing every guy I meet as a potential boyfriend. Tomorrow is a bowling date, which I've got $50 riding on that I will kick his ass. He clearly doesn't understand that people from boring hometowns went bowling A LOT while they were growing up. Just wait until he gets a load of my wrist action. Muahahah.

In a few weeks, I go home to the bosom of my family for Christmas. My sister told me today that her adorable children have been asking her everyday if I'll be coming for Christmas. It warms me to the depths of my bitter New York heart to hear that they are so excited to see me.

Total weight loss to date: 40 pounds. I was feeling pretty content about where I was for a while there, but I just got a uploaded the pictures from Atlanta and seeing them- I'm NOT happy about where I'm at and have some renewed motivation.

But the BEST news is- I just bought a ticket. A ticket to Miami. A ticket to Miami to to see Mr. 11 for my birthday! It's 4 weeks away, so I may DIE of impatience in the meantime. But I've already got all sorts of plans for my first ever fuck-ation. 36 hours devoted almost exclusively to naked time with the hottest man I have ever met. It helps that he's texting me things like- 'I can't wait to see you.' You're jealous. You know it. Don't even try to deny it.

Today's Title from: Naked by Marques Houston

Labels: Mr. 11